Post by Bobbi on Aug 8, 2022 11:36:02 GMT -5
Time had stretched on into an eternity as he waited, his mind left to swim with the currents of life just so he could feel her near, but more than that it was done so she could feel him. He did it so she’d be aware that he was nearby, that he was close at hand, for whatever difference it might make.
His little girl had been forced into the life she carried within her body, she had been ripped into life and had suffered even before she had been born. How she had suffered after. She was not even five and had suffered more brushes with the Dark Side of The Force than many Jedi twice her age. But they hadn’t exactly been brushes. These weren’t glancing blows to the faith of The Order, no. The girl’s mother had been a Dark Acolyte, one who had been driven insane by her own nature, the very Dark Side itself, and her association with Celestia Vikas.
And then, there was her father whose own dark nature had been a poison to his own soul. He had spent years running from it, years trying to hide it within himself, years dodging Jedi in the hopes that he could slip past without it being seen because he just didn’t know how to handle it. All those years felt now like they’d been wasted in many ways.
Somewhere through those early years he’d lost himself, somewhere along the way Solomon Tekal had ceased to be the promising young Jedi. He’d become something else instead, someone else instead.
All the efforts of the Jedi to help him see? All of those conversations with Sadhric Tlin -- with Darien -- with Caedmon? Those had all been just as wasted as the years of his life, taken and devoured by a being who couldn’t see them for what they were worth.
Who that man was, had been only half of a being. He had a heart, he had a brain, and eyes, and lips to speak with, and all other things that made the living the living but he had been just a shadow. A droid wrapped in human form because it helped him survive from one day to the next. What had been swallowed up in the process of survival had been so many things that made him who he was.
He gave it willingly. All of it was sacrificed for the purpose of his own survival. That heart continued to beat as it should have but his mind ceased to be his, his eyes saw only what they wanted to see, his lips spoke nothing of value -- just words meant to carry the galaxy at a distance because that was safer. Being a shadow was better.
It hadn’t even been a conscious effort that had brought it about. The change, now, felt as if it had been slow, crawling along through hurt after hurt, agony after agony until one day Solomon was just as broken as a discarded droid, and after he continued to limp along as if waiting for the power supply to run down while hoping no one else would notice.
That was how Mother had found him, it was how Vahn and his ilk had known where and how to apply the pressure. All the while he’d been unaware to a great extent of what had been going on because he had touched Darkness, he had been holding hands with it for years and not allowed himself to realize it.
How utterly blind he’d been. How absolutely and irrevocably stupid he had made himself.
The medical staff had finally come to retrieve him from the waiting room some hours after he had arrived with his daughter. A glance at his chrono when the hand of a Sulustian closed over his shoulder to gently shake him, told him that it was almost dawn.
He’d been swimming in The Force for a few hours, and she had been there with him. It felt strange to rise, to blink his eyes open and let that flow of energy pass from his focus. It felt strange to be at that kind of distance from the ebb and flow of life, just as it felt strange to no longer feel her as close as he had while he was that deep within The Force.
If the faint aura around his eyes had been seen by the Sulustian medical aide, nothing had been said. He was led back to a room that was dimly lit and quiet but for the sound of monitoring equipment.
There he found her, breathing deeply with a mask over her face, oxygene being supplied while the machines did their work.
His knees felt like they were going to buckle at the sight of her laying there like that. Little Ureala lying so still, so quiet when she was usually so happy and bouncing around.
He was reminded of a similar scene from years before. Ureala, his sister, laying in sedation on board one of Sadhric’s ships, torn to shreds and barely holding on to life because of the blood that coursed through their veins, because of their family. He and Sadhric had worked so damn hard to save her life. So damn hard. But she had been called back to The Force, leaving her son in Solomon’s care.
That was not going to happen here. This was not his little girl’s time. He could feel it.
The medical aide was saying something about an allergic reaction, something about her immune system flying into overdrive over something she had been exposed to. Somethingsomethingsomething.
Solomon nodded, barely hearing what the Sulustian was saying as his feet carried him toward the bed where the little girl lay, sleeping still.
The fever was still a concern, he vaguely heard that mentioned, but she was still not out of the woods even if they did have the reaction under control. They were going to keep her at least until the fever broke.
Solomon nodded, keeping his eyes on his daughter while he crossed the room to her bedside. He’d call Trinity and let her know. Those words came from him in a mutter, but they felt like they were being spoken by someone else.
By the time he reached the bedside of his daughter the aide had slipped out of the room and shut the door behind, leaving him alone in the room with her.
“I’m sorry, Bug,” His chest shook with those words, even as he caught the sob that wanted to tear itself through him and forced it into a hard sigh. His right hand was brought up, lifted to rest against the child’s forehead. Once more he closed his eyes and let himself sink into the flow of The Force.
She was in there somewhere, within her own mind, trapped in an ailing body that was so small and yet too big all at the same time. She was in there, and she was alone.
He sought that place within her, a place where her mind would take her when it needed to be safe. This was the place of dreams, it was a place of inner peace and safety. It was a refuge that he looked for because she was just as much a luminescent being as he was. She was just as much a part of The Force as the rest of the galaxy, and here she was very much in need.
I am here.
Peace was offered to the girl, comfort and strength. Love. His presence next to her’s was a beacon of energy. If he could find her, then she could find him.
Alone wouldn’t last long when one had The Force, and The Force was very much with them both.
His little girl had been forced into the life she carried within her body, she had been ripped into life and had suffered even before she had been born. How she had suffered after. She was not even five and had suffered more brushes with the Dark Side of The Force than many Jedi twice her age. But they hadn’t exactly been brushes. These weren’t glancing blows to the faith of The Order, no. The girl’s mother had been a Dark Acolyte, one who had been driven insane by her own nature, the very Dark Side itself, and her association with Celestia Vikas.
And then, there was her father whose own dark nature had been a poison to his own soul. He had spent years running from it, years trying to hide it within himself, years dodging Jedi in the hopes that he could slip past without it being seen because he just didn’t know how to handle it. All those years felt now like they’d been wasted in many ways.
Somewhere through those early years he’d lost himself, somewhere along the way Solomon Tekal had ceased to be the promising young Jedi. He’d become something else instead, someone else instead.
All the efforts of the Jedi to help him see? All of those conversations with Sadhric Tlin -- with Darien -- with Caedmon? Those had all been just as wasted as the years of his life, taken and devoured by a being who couldn’t see them for what they were worth.
Who that man was, had been only half of a being. He had a heart, he had a brain, and eyes, and lips to speak with, and all other things that made the living the living but he had been just a shadow. A droid wrapped in human form because it helped him survive from one day to the next. What had been swallowed up in the process of survival had been so many things that made him who he was.
He gave it willingly. All of it was sacrificed for the purpose of his own survival. That heart continued to beat as it should have but his mind ceased to be his, his eyes saw only what they wanted to see, his lips spoke nothing of value -- just words meant to carry the galaxy at a distance because that was safer. Being a shadow was better.
It hadn’t even been a conscious effort that had brought it about. The change, now, felt as if it had been slow, crawling along through hurt after hurt, agony after agony until one day Solomon was just as broken as a discarded droid, and after he continued to limp along as if waiting for the power supply to run down while hoping no one else would notice.
That was how Mother had found him, it was how Vahn and his ilk had known where and how to apply the pressure. All the while he’d been unaware to a great extent of what had been going on because he had touched Darkness, he had been holding hands with it for years and not allowed himself to realize it.
How utterly blind he’d been. How absolutely and irrevocably stupid he had made himself.
The medical staff had finally come to retrieve him from the waiting room some hours after he had arrived with his daughter. A glance at his chrono when the hand of a Sulustian closed over his shoulder to gently shake him, told him that it was almost dawn.
He’d been swimming in The Force for a few hours, and she had been there with him. It felt strange to rise, to blink his eyes open and let that flow of energy pass from his focus. It felt strange to be at that kind of distance from the ebb and flow of life, just as it felt strange to no longer feel her as close as he had while he was that deep within The Force.
If the faint aura around his eyes had been seen by the Sulustian medical aide, nothing had been said. He was led back to a room that was dimly lit and quiet but for the sound of monitoring equipment.
There he found her, breathing deeply with a mask over her face, oxygene being supplied while the machines did their work.
His knees felt like they were going to buckle at the sight of her laying there like that. Little Ureala lying so still, so quiet when she was usually so happy and bouncing around.
He was reminded of a similar scene from years before. Ureala, his sister, laying in sedation on board one of Sadhric’s ships, torn to shreds and barely holding on to life because of the blood that coursed through their veins, because of their family. He and Sadhric had worked so damn hard to save her life. So damn hard. But she had been called back to The Force, leaving her son in Solomon’s care.
That was not going to happen here. This was not his little girl’s time. He could feel it.
The medical aide was saying something about an allergic reaction, something about her immune system flying into overdrive over something she had been exposed to. Somethingsomethingsomething.
Solomon nodded, barely hearing what the Sulustian was saying as his feet carried him toward the bed where the little girl lay, sleeping still.
The fever was still a concern, he vaguely heard that mentioned, but she was still not out of the woods even if they did have the reaction under control. They were going to keep her at least until the fever broke.
Solomon nodded, keeping his eyes on his daughter while he crossed the room to her bedside. He’d call Trinity and let her know. Those words came from him in a mutter, but they felt like they were being spoken by someone else.
By the time he reached the bedside of his daughter the aide had slipped out of the room and shut the door behind, leaving him alone in the room with her.
“I’m sorry, Bug,” His chest shook with those words, even as he caught the sob that wanted to tear itself through him and forced it into a hard sigh. His right hand was brought up, lifted to rest against the child’s forehead. Once more he closed his eyes and let himself sink into the flow of The Force.
She was in there somewhere, within her own mind, trapped in an ailing body that was so small and yet too big all at the same time. She was in there, and she was alone.
He sought that place within her, a place where her mind would take her when it needed to be safe. This was the place of dreams, it was a place of inner peace and safety. It was a refuge that he looked for because she was just as much a luminescent being as he was. She was just as much a part of The Force as the rest of the galaxy, and here she was very much in need.
I am here.
Peace was offered to the girl, comfort and strength. Love. His presence next to her’s was a beacon of energy. If he could find her, then she could find him.
Alone wouldn’t last long when one had The Force, and The Force was very much with them both.