Post by Bobbi on Jul 4, 2022 11:28:57 GMT -5
It was difficult to keep himself occupied. There was only so much walking that could be done, only so many people he could stand being around, and only so many moments of risking a run-in with planetary defense that Sol was willing to commit to. Eventually, he’d returned to the Justicar and settled himself in for a little bit of a nap while he waited.
Beyond the ship Bastion did as Bastion would until a little alarm sounded from his wrist, rousing him from his sleep. Wiping his eyes free of slumber, Sol blindly reached for his comm unit. He was still very much blinking sleep away by the time Lyla picked up. “Is it done?” By the time he was done talking, a yawn was being stifled.
Confirmation came back to him, and then he was up and moving toward the ramp of his ship. “I’ll be there in five.”
Fifteen standard minutes later, information in hand, Sol was settled back down into the pilot’s seat of his Mandalorian vessel. This was just the first part of his plan. The rest would have to wait, though. He had some siblings to see about a letter.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Jurai
5 days after seeing Lyla
The Jedi hadn’t moved from Jurai. They hadn’t yet gotten themselves back into the public forums and circles that might count them as being fully back within the galaxy. That day would come, but not in the near future. There were still pieces being picked up, still healing to be done.
The Justicar settled down in the wide open cave structure The Order was using as a hangar and within moments he was stepping down the ramp to be greeted by Darien.
“Sorry I’m late.” He told the darker haired version of himself, “Is Kabel alright? She sounded tired on the comm.”
A brief embrace was met between them, Darien locking his arms around Sol while Sol spoke and did the same in return. “She’s fine --” With the withdrawal came a frown and a small thoughtful noise from Solomon’s twin, “Actually, she’s exhausted. She hasn’t been sleeping well, Sol. She misses Antor, I think.”
A small nod was given and soon the brothers were heading deeper into the cave system that supplied the Jedi with their new home, “And the kids? Nova and Nole are doing alright?”
“Yeah,” Darien gave a wave with his hand, dismissing the questions, “They’re fine. Kids are resilient, you know that.”
Sol frowned but nodded all the same, letting it go for the moment because another topic was incoming and Solomon could almost feel it when it left Darien’s mouth, “How are Anna and Newe’un? How were they found?”
“I’m not sure yet how they were found, but they’ll be alright.”
A few moments later, after losing themselves in that conversation the Tekal boys found themselves standing in a small section of the cave system that had been set aside for Kabel and her children to use.
There were happy hugs, laughter, and some kid friendly jokes told before it came down to the business of what had been found.
The feeling of the place seemed to turn slightly for him as he sat, a datapad in hand. The words he read, he could hear them in her voice. He could imagine her writing them -- memories from years ago came so quickly to the surface. He had seen her tapping away at a datapad while the Jedi convened on Endor. If only he had guessed that this was what she had been writing. But, even if he had known what would he have done about it? It was more that he hadn’t known, that they hadn’t known. If they had, the letter would have reached its destination.
They had no way of knowing now if Ith’li Shaon, uncle and family friend, former Dark Lord of the Sith -- Late Ith’li Shaon -- had ever seen the words written by their mother.
The area that Kabel and the children occupied had become so silent, and Solomon had become so still. He barely even moved a muscle as Darien reached out to place a hand on his shoulder.
Ith’li,
I know you may think me a sentimental fool for doing this, but it is something that I feel I must. I would not have survived the trip to see you in person but I know there is still so much that we could have said to each other. Now, there is so much that will never be said.
I am sorry to go before you to my death bed, my friend. I had not taken as good care as I had promised when I went to Ord Mantel and it has brought me to where I am. I was not careful enough. I saw the trap, and headed right for it to save the lives of the friends that had gone with me. I ran headlong into the storm to protect our target.
The illness, this Devastation, that eats away at my body is now consuming my mind. The poison that I had bowed to under Mathar’s hand has made it move all the more swiftly. It will not be long now. I have resisted it for as long as I could. Forgive me for not telling you, for trying to hide it from you.
I am not certain these days if I ever told you what happened, and while the circumstances of that no longer matter just know that I am deeply sorry for not allowing you to see it. Know that it was not fear that kept me from coming to you with this but rather a need for you to remember me as I was, not as I have become.
You and I, my oldest and dearest of friends, were forged from two different sides of the same cred and, as I sit here watching the Jedi come together on Endor, I wonder what would have ever happened if we had ever found ourselves on the same side of that particular chit.
Would we have managed to bring this new Jedi Order together solidly, would we have been able to offer the kind of leadership it needed from the start? Would we have been able to better fend off the likes of Moonrider before he had ever had the chance to become an issue? Would we have been more than enough to vanquish Lumiya eons before she’d ever gotten close enough to scar either one of us?
Or, would we have made this galaxy our’s? Side by side, would we have taken world after world and rejoiced in our darkness? Would none have stood a chance against us if we had stood together?
Or would it have weakened us, that being on the same side? I am almost sure it would have. I needed you to pull me along, and you needed me to test yourself against.
In my youth, I had thought that all I needed was to stay one step ahead of you in order to outmatch you; all I had to do was read your movements correctly to prove that I was right, that it was my path that was the right one.
Maybe for some it is. For these Jedi here, certainly, The Way is their calling. But not for you, and not for me. For us, there is what we had together. There is what we forged, what we held onto over the years between us.
For us, it was the cat and mouse. We made each other stronger because of the balance between us and I am so very sorry to have to let go so early, to have to forgo that one last battle with you.
I am tired, my friend, and I do not ever think I thanked you properly for all the years that you stood by me, for all the times you helped pull me past my weaknesses.
I do not regret much about our time together, but I do regret this. We could have gone so much farther together, Shaon. There is still so much left to do, and here I am leaving you alone to do it by yourself. Forgive me for that, please. I have very little choice in this matter. I am sure you understand that, given how the use of The Force has tattered your own body. You know the kind of pain that I am writing about so I need not go into details. I am utterly sorry that I will not be here to see this through with you.
The energy that is taking me away from you is the very same that you have clung to all these years. It is robbing me of my vital life, just as it is robbing you of your’s. What are we alone, without the other there to keep us balanced? There have been many times over the past years that I have mourned the loss of our bond. But I am glad you cannot feel this, Ith’li. I am glad you are spared feeling this through me. I think facing this would be so much more difficult if I had to watch you feel it as I do. Forgive this lie of omission between us, and for once allow me to be selfish when it comes to you. When it comes to us.
I know I do not need to tell you The Dark Side is fraught with lies and deception, and I know you had your own motives, but you never lied to me about what was ultimately important. You never turned your tongue when I needed to hear the truth. You were always there, and I hope you can say the same for me.
You never needed me the same way that I needed you, though. You were always the stronger of the two of us. That is not an admission of my path being the wrong one, so do not dare take it that way, Shaon.
It is an admission that I learned a lot from you over the years. Things I had thought I knew but in reality I wasn’t quite ready for, particularly when we were younger. From you, I learned how to stand tall even when it hurt, though these days standing at all sometimes feels like a miracle feat. You helped me find the better version of myself.
And how I wish we had more time to explore just how much further this could have gone between us.
I wish I had time to come see you, just once more. I wish there was time for that final battle you’ve always wanted, but I know you would never attack with the state I’m in. You always wanted me in my top form, always at my best. The call of my duty has robbed us both of that, though I would hope that The Dark Lord of The Sith would take pity on a weakling Jedi, such as myself, to doll out the mercy of death especially after all we’ve been through together. Because if I could make it to you, that would be my dying wish: to go saber to saber with you just one last time.
The Jedi need me here on Endor and so here it is that I must be. Duty forever calls. Even now I cannot escape it, and I would not want to. But how I wish I could end this differently.
I’ve become that star you warned me of. The one that burns so brightly that it is quick to burn itself out. Leato started that chain reaction in me from the shreds of darkness left years ago. It is a fire that cannot be extinguished.
I know you will carry on, as you’ve no choice to do, but I ask that you carry me with you so I will always be there for you to sharpen yourself against.
Remember me, Shaon. Remember me as I was when I was young, when we had the galaxy at our fingertips. Remember the games we used to play with each other because for me they are fading all too quickly. Remember them for me because soon I won’t be here to remember them at all.
Consider this the one last burden I bring to you, one last favor for a lifelong friend.
Take care of yourself, Ith’li Shaon. Mind, body, and soul. As long as The Force is with you, I will be too.
M.T.
This letter was written years ago, right before Murra died. I just recently found it while going through some old notebooks and realized it never made it to the boards.
Beyond the ship Bastion did as Bastion would until a little alarm sounded from his wrist, rousing him from his sleep. Wiping his eyes free of slumber, Sol blindly reached for his comm unit. He was still very much blinking sleep away by the time Lyla picked up. “Is it done?” By the time he was done talking, a yawn was being stifled.
Confirmation came back to him, and then he was up and moving toward the ramp of his ship. “I’ll be there in five.”
Fifteen standard minutes later, information in hand, Sol was settled back down into the pilot’s seat of his Mandalorian vessel. This was just the first part of his plan. The rest would have to wait, though. He had some siblings to see about a letter.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Jurai
5 days after seeing Lyla
The Jedi hadn’t moved from Jurai. They hadn’t yet gotten themselves back into the public forums and circles that might count them as being fully back within the galaxy. That day would come, but not in the near future. There were still pieces being picked up, still healing to be done.
The Justicar settled down in the wide open cave structure The Order was using as a hangar and within moments he was stepping down the ramp to be greeted by Darien.
“Sorry I’m late.” He told the darker haired version of himself, “Is Kabel alright? She sounded tired on the comm.”
A brief embrace was met between them, Darien locking his arms around Sol while Sol spoke and did the same in return. “She’s fine --” With the withdrawal came a frown and a small thoughtful noise from Solomon’s twin, “Actually, she’s exhausted. She hasn’t been sleeping well, Sol. She misses Antor, I think.”
A small nod was given and soon the brothers were heading deeper into the cave system that supplied the Jedi with their new home, “And the kids? Nova and Nole are doing alright?”
“Yeah,” Darien gave a wave with his hand, dismissing the questions, “They’re fine. Kids are resilient, you know that.”
Sol frowned but nodded all the same, letting it go for the moment because another topic was incoming and Solomon could almost feel it when it left Darien’s mouth, “How are Anna and Newe’un? How were they found?”
“I’m not sure yet how they were found, but they’ll be alright.”
A few moments later, after losing themselves in that conversation the Tekal boys found themselves standing in a small section of the cave system that had been set aside for Kabel and her children to use.
There were happy hugs, laughter, and some kid friendly jokes told before it came down to the business of what had been found.
The feeling of the place seemed to turn slightly for him as he sat, a datapad in hand. The words he read, he could hear them in her voice. He could imagine her writing them -- memories from years ago came so quickly to the surface. He had seen her tapping away at a datapad while the Jedi convened on Endor. If only he had guessed that this was what she had been writing. But, even if he had known what would he have done about it? It was more that he hadn’t known, that they hadn’t known. If they had, the letter would have reached its destination.
They had no way of knowing now if Ith’li Shaon, uncle and family friend, former Dark Lord of the Sith -- Late Ith’li Shaon -- had ever seen the words written by their mother.
The area that Kabel and the children occupied had become so silent, and Solomon had become so still. He barely even moved a muscle as Darien reached out to place a hand on his shoulder.
Ith’li,
I know you may think me a sentimental fool for doing this, but it is something that I feel I must. I would not have survived the trip to see you in person but I know there is still so much that we could have said to each other. Now, there is so much that will never be said.
I am sorry to go before you to my death bed, my friend. I had not taken as good care as I had promised when I went to Ord Mantel and it has brought me to where I am. I was not careful enough. I saw the trap, and headed right for it to save the lives of the friends that had gone with me. I ran headlong into the storm to protect our target.
The illness, this Devastation, that eats away at my body is now consuming my mind. The poison that I had bowed to under Mathar’s hand has made it move all the more swiftly. It will not be long now. I have resisted it for as long as I could. Forgive me for not telling you, for trying to hide it from you.
I am not certain these days if I ever told you what happened, and while the circumstances of that no longer matter just know that I am deeply sorry for not allowing you to see it. Know that it was not fear that kept me from coming to you with this but rather a need for you to remember me as I was, not as I have become.
You and I, my oldest and dearest of friends, were forged from two different sides of the same cred and, as I sit here watching the Jedi come together on Endor, I wonder what would have ever happened if we had ever found ourselves on the same side of that particular chit.
Would we have managed to bring this new Jedi Order together solidly, would we have been able to offer the kind of leadership it needed from the start? Would we have been able to better fend off the likes of Moonrider before he had ever had the chance to become an issue? Would we have been more than enough to vanquish Lumiya eons before she’d ever gotten close enough to scar either one of us?
Or, would we have made this galaxy our’s? Side by side, would we have taken world after world and rejoiced in our darkness? Would none have stood a chance against us if we had stood together?
Or would it have weakened us, that being on the same side? I am almost sure it would have. I needed you to pull me along, and you needed me to test yourself against.
In my youth, I had thought that all I needed was to stay one step ahead of you in order to outmatch you; all I had to do was read your movements correctly to prove that I was right, that it was my path that was the right one.
Maybe for some it is. For these Jedi here, certainly, The Way is their calling. But not for you, and not for me. For us, there is what we had together. There is what we forged, what we held onto over the years between us.
For us, it was the cat and mouse. We made each other stronger because of the balance between us and I am so very sorry to have to let go so early, to have to forgo that one last battle with you.
I am tired, my friend, and I do not ever think I thanked you properly for all the years that you stood by me, for all the times you helped pull me past my weaknesses.
I do not regret much about our time together, but I do regret this. We could have gone so much farther together, Shaon. There is still so much left to do, and here I am leaving you alone to do it by yourself. Forgive me for that, please. I have very little choice in this matter. I am sure you understand that, given how the use of The Force has tattered your own body. You know the kind of pain that I am writing about so I need not go into details. I am utterly sorry that I will not be here to see this through with you.
The energy that is taking me away from you is the very same that you have clung to all these years. It is robbing me of my vital life, just as it is robbing you of your’s. What are we alone, without the other there to keep us balanced? There have been many times over the past years that I have mourned the loss of our bond. But I am glad you cannot feel this, Ith’li. I am glad you are spared feeling this through me. I think facing this would be so much more difficult if I had to watch you feel it as I do. Forgive this lie of omission between us, and for once allow me to be selfish when it comes to you. When it comes to us.
I know I do not need to tell you The Dark Side is fraught with lies and deception, and I know you had your own motives, but you never lied to me about what was ultimately important. You never turned your tongue when I needed to hear the truth. You were always there, and I hope you can say the same for me.
You never needed me the same way that I needed you, though. You were always the stronger of the two of us. That is not an admission of my path being the wrong one, so do not dare take it that way, Shaon.
It is an admission that I learned a lot from you over the years. Things I had thought I knew but in reality I wasn’t quite ready for, particularly when we were younger. From you, I learned how to stand tall even when it hurt, though these days standing at all sometimes feels like a miracle feat. You helped me find the better version of myself.
And how I wish we had more time to explore just how much further this could have gone between us.
I wish I had time to come see you, just once more. I wish there was time for that final battle you’ve always wanted, but I know you would never attack with the state I’m in. You always wanted me in my top form, always at my best. The call of my duty has robbed us both of that, though I would hope that The Dark Lord of The Sith would take pity on a weakling Jedi, such as myself, to doll out the mercy of death especially after all we’ve been through together. Because if I could make it to you, that would be my dying wish: to go saber to saber with you just one last time.
The Jedi need me here on Endor and so here it is that I must be. Duty forever calls. Even now I cannot escape it, and I would not want to. But how I wish I could end this differently.
I’ve become that star you warned me of. The one that burns so brightly that it is quick to burn itself out. Leato started that chain reaction in me from the shreds of darkness left years ago. It is a fire that cannot be extinguished.
I know you will carry on, as you’ve no choice to do, but I ask that you carry me with you so I will always be there for you to sharpen yourself against.
Remember me, Shaon. Remember me as I was when I was young, when we had the galaxy at our fingertips. Remember the games we used to play with each other because for me they are fading all too quickly. Remember them for me because soon I won’t be here to remember them at all.
Consider this the one last burden I bring to you, one last favor for a lifelong friend.
Take care of yourself, Ith’li Shaon. Mind, body, and soul. As long as The Force is with you, I will be too.
M.T.
This letter was written years ago, right before Murra died. I just recently found it while going through some old notebooks and realized it never made it to the boards.
