Post by Charlotte on Jan 1, 2006 12:55:08 GMT -5
Elom. Quiet hours.
The bar was deserted for once, except that Sadhric was there, methodically calibrating a meter-long black weapon that looked like a godsdamned miniature cannon. Out on the bar was something that resembled a datapad, but it was projecting a series of little colorful holoreadouts in the air just above it. The first image was of a red grid that was spread across some multi-colored splotches. The second image was a bit less cryptic: it was very clearly an image of icy Elom at night--some nearly featureless expanse of snow-dusted ice. The third projection was just a constantly changing scroll of numbers and calculations of some kind. This last datafeed at times seemed to pulse in sync with the colorful array in the grid.
The Mechanic himself, glancing over at these images every now and then, appeared suited up for a nighttime excursion into the frigid air, and he moved with a brusque speed that suggested some urgency. It also suggested that this was not a planned outing.
In the corner of the bar, Caedmon was sitting, his own fingers rapping softly across the keys to his datapad... He couldn't stop moving... he had to move faster. He had trusted Sadhric to do what needed to be done, but he had to do something himself... the galaxy needed him... he couldn't be so selfish as to stop for just a single person... though somewhere in his heart he was whispering, "If a Jedi Can't stop for a single person... what’s a Jedi good for?" His hand pushed back his hair as he finally looked up... they'd relocate the Jedi to a better place... Somewhere in the outer-rim... maybe Seth's new 'theme' park. Brown eyes narrowed and tried to focus on what Sadhric was working on, before he finally stood and made his way towards the Mechanic... slow, sluggish... exhausted.
When he finally did reach Sadhric, he was forcing a smile across his lips, and leaning over the bar to grab a bottle of Lum Ale, natively brewed, it wasn't as good as the stuff from the core... or Corellia for that matter, but what did it matter at the moment... "How long will you stay?" His voice was quiet, distant and possibly lost in the images that roved through his mind like Fire over long grass...
"Not long," The Mechanic said distractedly as something rippled in a corner of the snowscape image and caught his attention. "There's not much I can do from here that wouldn't be improved by my being closer to the action."
His eyes remained on the holo for a moment longer before he straightened a bit more and looked squarely at Caedmon. A minute pause. Then, softly, he said, "Cato... you have to let this pass through you."
Caedmon hadn't noticed the ripple, he might as well have been looking at a blank screen for all that he perceived... "Aye... " Was his response to Sadhric saying he wasn't going to stay long, he had expected that, and that he too would be gone before tomorrows end... And then Sadhric was looking at him, and he said something... something that made Cae's face contort with anger... Let this pass through you? Did Sadhric know what he was saying? He shook his head, and his face was blank of emotions, and he was digging deep to find a way to use the force for strength, for energy... but couldn't seem to come up with anything..." I can't do that Sadhric..." This would kill him for the rest of his life, even when Jonas was safely returned, even -if- Jonas was safely returned... because he had been too slow yet again... too wrapped up! He had failed, yet again. And when he needed not to fail most... Jonas could be killed... He was looking back towards the door... "Is there anything you need?" Apparently the Lum ale was all forgotten about...
Sadhric was very still, watching him. And then he was swinging the weapon around and securing it across his back. Attention on the clasps, he said, "Yes. I need backup. Get on a coat."
He blinked, confused for a few seconds... "Shall I get some of the other Jedi?" He was already moving for where he had hung up his robe, trying to force himself to be faster than he had been moving only a few moments ago, to ill effect... and actually causing himself to yawn. When the robe was on his shoulders he was following Sadhric... "What are we dealing with anyway?"
"Not entirely sure yet," Sadhric said. "I was going to go out to have a look alone, but you're here, you're awake, and you're in desperate need of some distraction, so I'm going to tolerate your company."
"How kind of you... to tolerate my company, as you have done so many times in the past.. " He attempted humor with, such lack-luster in his voice the sarcasm was lost, and it could have easily sounded sincere... He didn't object to any of Sadhric's other statements about his need for distraction, he wouldn't have wanted Tlin to go out checking a potentially lethal situation alone in any-case... not when Sadhric's life just might mean his sons own...
"Volumes will be recorded about my kindness, no doubt," Sadhric said under his breath as he straightened up and turned to snatch up the little datapad. The holos snapped out of existence before his hand closed on the device, and he shoved it into a pocket on his coat. He didn't wait for Cato, specifically, as he moved out the door, but neither was he intentionally leaving Caedmon behind. His manner was almost--but not quite--indifferent. And he walked right past the GDR, rather than getting on it. Apparently, he was prepared to head out on foot.
Cato was struggling to follow behind Tlin, too slow, too sluggish... and he didn't seem to notice this until Sadhric was more than a few feet away, and even by extending his gait that he couldn't catch up.. Frowning, he forced himself to at least walk at a normal pace, as long as Sadhric didn't get out of sight than it should have been all good.. He hadn't been surprised by the lack of using the GDR (especially since he hadn't much enjoyed his last ride on the blasted thing). His mind continued to work round the clock as he followed... most specifically, just how was Sadhric going to rescue Jonas? How was he going to disinfect the boy? It made him sick every time he thought that one twist of anger from Khetu could be the end of Jonas...
Still moving in the same direction at the same pace, Sadhric spun around to walk for a moment backwards so that he could watch the Jedi. "Step up the pace, Jedi, or go back."
Caedmon grunted and tried to draw any energy that he could from the force to move quicker, and with a bit of his own personal energy, managed to pick up his pace, if only to keep from having to leave a potentially dangerous situation to Tlin alone...
That effort seemed to satisfy Sadhric, because he turned back around. But he also moved from a walk to a jog, jumping down a few steps and leaving the covered walkway and out onto the pristine snow, leaving clear tracks. He spun about as he had before, checking to make sure Caedmon was keeping up.
Caedmon was indeed keeping up, because in the back of his head there were words he had thought he had forgotten... ~Too slow Cato! Too Slow Caedmon! Faster! Can't you move any Faster Cato?! Your too slow to do any good!~ and when the words came back to his mind, he was moving forward, almost angry, because he remembered the replies that went with him... And with a bit more energy, and he was keeping only a few paces behind Tlin, dropping down the stairs with something similar to his old walk, but definitely lacking something else...
Sadhric snapped, "You've gotten slow," when he turned back around and glanced over his shoulder at Caedmon. "You're no good to me if you're going to stay this slow." He picked up his own pace, across the shallow dusting of snow, running now despite being weighed down a bit by his weapon and equipment.
The words seemed like a taunt.. If Sadhric had a weapon it must have been his wit, or his ability to read Caedmon like a book. Because the words seemed to be all that Caedmon needed to hear... even if it sparked a bit of anger...Gotten Slow? No Good to him?! No good to anyone... he couldn't accept that... because with those words he could almost hear the voice of his ancestor as he was trained... Remember Rik's last true words before being gunned down.. Remember the look on Ionda's face as he was only steps away! Too damned slow! And so at least one aspect of Cato's had returned... his movements became liquid, he steps flowed into the next, and he could have overtaken Tlin with a few steps, even as it was a run... It was all he could do, its all he had need to do... move quickly...
Pushing the pace still faster, Sadhric was a dark streak across the moonlit snow. The silver-blue landscape was pristine save for their shadowed tracks, and silent save for the crunching of their boots in the snow. The Mechanic had them run like that for over a mile before he slowed down, his quick breathing making clouds in front of his face.
Finally, he stopped and held up a hand as he caught his breath and fished out his datapad. "What does the Force tell you about what's out here with us?" he asked between breaths.
Caedmon skidded to a stop, nearly falling back on his arse, and was trying to catch his breath. He hadn't used Jedi breathing techniques, he had simply run, like he used to before he had learnt to be a Jedi... And in quickened and harsh breathes, he tried to open himself further to the Force, to gleam from it its secret knowledge that Sadhric requested... but, he was still far from it... far from the Mastery he could normally display... "I don't know... " He was leaning against a tree, shoulders raising and falling with his breathes.... Eyes still closed, he was still tapping outwards to try and find what Sadhric was looking for...
"'Don't know'," Sadhric spat. He waved his free hand in disgust as he eyed his datapad. "Should I have just brought a godsdamned droid? Go back, if you can't make yourself useful."
Cato had had enough... he was exhausted, emotionally tattered and trying his damned best to keep himself from simply leaving Elom, and going to get his son, in whatever way he could... Even if meant joining the Protectorate... the thought had crossed his mind for a long while, but he knew better... he couldn't. That would be a complete betrayal of all that he learned, all that he fought for... for even Jonas himself... But he had enough of being talked down to... and he simply... let his anger show... "Keep talking to me like that Sadhric, and it'll be a painful walk home for one of us..." He coughed up some phlegm, and spat it onto the ground as he came to his feet completely... eyes still closed, he was trying to find a live vein in him that might connect him to the Force and give Sadhric what information he wanted...
"Really," Sadhric said, sounding either satisfied or amused or both. "You can't even pace me at a jog, and you're going to do something to me? I doubt it, Cato. I really do."
"Don't... I could walk faster than you run... " He knew he couldn't... it had been an effort to run like that, but he had done it... no slowing down... he could move just as fast... "You doubt a lot of things Tlin.... but don't doubt me... and do not talk to me like you did...."
"Why not? You're a walking corpse, Cato."
Caedmon didn't even dignify that with a response, because it had gotten his anger flowing... and in a movement quicker than the eye could blink, his lightsabre was in his hand.. "Up ahead..." He was trying to reach out further, as well as push down his anger... "I can't tell just what though..."
"You're ignoring me because you just don't have a retort. You're slow. So should I trust you with that lightsaber in your hand? Should I trust you to watch my back? I don't think you could save your own life, let alone mine."
"Shut up... Or we'll see how slow I am..." If anything truly offended him, it was most obviously those words... You're slow... "Now Focus, you brought me out here, what is it you're looking for? Or thought you saw?"
The Mechanic ran right over Caedmon's attempts to put the night's excursion back on track. "Let's see it. Let's see that Jedi speed," he taunted. "Come on. You made the threat. Don't back down from it now."
Caedmon growled, and if asked later, he'd die trying to remember where he got the energy to move forward from, but he knew it was from a source far disconnected from the Force. And with a single step, he had moved from the tree, in a single spin that had twirling orange light strike clear through the limb of the tree and even manage to carry him closer to Sadhric both sabres now in hand, tree falling awkwardly to the side... A flick of his wrist, and Caedmon's blade was leveled with Tlin's neck before dying out. "Enough Tlin... Did you pull me out here for something... or just to get on my nerves?"
"To get on your nerves," Sadhric said flatly, unflinching. "To make sure you still have some." He tilted his head slightly, pulling off his Lenses, narrowing his eyes. "What you're feeling now... isn't helpful though, I know. It's not what you want to be feeling. I know that, too. You're not the kind of man who can be fooled by anger. You know that the speed it gives you, the power, is not what you really want. I know you know that. Whatever else is inside of you, you do have that knowledge, and you're not a man who can ignore that for very long."
Caedmon clipped the sabres to his waist, simply falling back, onto his ass.. He was quiet for a long moment, because the last thought he had was he could give Sadhric and get Jonas... He plopped himself back onto the snow, so that even his head was in the ice... He wanted to be frozen here, to awaken when it was all done... "You know, I could just give them you, and get him back.... but I wouldn't do that. I could go, and be with him, and to hell with the rest of the galaxy.... And yet I can't do any of these things... the thought of them makes me feel less of a man.... Or like a traitor to Jonas... to everyone who’s trying to beat the Protectorate..." His eyes were still closed, and he didn't feel the cold the surrounded him, it had long since taken him... " I'm just tired, Sadhric..." His voice was quiet, and it was a whisper... as if a commitment to something that hadn't happened yet. "Exhausted... I know a lot of things, and you're right... the anger is not something I want... but right now, here and now... I simply can't find anything else..." Brown orbs were opened, staring at the starry expanse.... trying to cut down some of the hectic thoughts the grabbed at him... "How do you do it, Tlin?"
"Differently now than I used to," Sadhric said cryptically, eyeing the Jedi as he reached back and drew up his hood. "It wouldn't help you to know how I do it, because it's a space, and I'm trying my damnedest not to be here myself. I'd much rather be where you are, even now. Even if that landed me in a trade for your son." He turned a little, checking the snowscape around them--somewhat less pristine now than when they'd set out. "And you're better at the things that one has to be good at in order to get out of this kind of trap whole--much better at them than I have ever been. You already have your tools."
Caedmon didn't really get what Sadhric meant, he tried to, for several long moments he was trying to pick apart what the man said... "I mean... you’re very much in the situation that I am... except for longer... And yet you move on, you stay strong... It has to be killing you inside..." A psycho had their children... A Psycho was invested in giving all his attention to Tlin's daughter who thought of nothing more than to kill him..."And for a lot more pain... and here you are... baby-sitting over a young man, who wishes he never left Tatooine for Dathomir... or better, wishes he had never set foot off Corellian Soil..." He might have laughed if he wasn't dead serious... "No... I don't think so... " He was frowning now... " Nothing that enters my senses gets to escape... it builds a lot... but you... you remain strong.... A lot of people want to see you dead, or enslaved... or both... and you're still going... still finding ways to help without so much as claiming any credit or letting others know... "
"It doesn't take strength to be used to something." The Mechanic frowned, and shrugged a little. "People have always wanted me dead, or to have me work for them. That's been 'how things are' for so long now...." He shrugged again, shaking his head a little. "What's new about it for me, Cato? The faces change. Maybe the script is edited slightly. But it's all the same old story, replayed over and over again." A little humorless laugh, and suddenly Sadhric was smiling lopsidedly. "The only new thing is...." Abruptly, he lost that short-lived smile. "... her. And there are others, too, who are new. I never cared this much about the outcome of things before, and it's because of them. I've never felt the consequences of my own actions so keenly. That's new, too. That's why I have stayed within striking distance.... I could vanish. They could never find me if that's what I chose to do. Not your Jedi, not Ashton, not anyone. But I'm going to try to chip away at this even if it kills me because this is my fault, and these people who are paying the price don't deserve it."
"When its done... that’s what I'll do..." He sighed quietly, sitting himself up, and shrugging off the snow... She was something new... she was definitely something new... "Make her a body, a clone.... then trap her in it like all of us are trapped in ours... " He was speaking off handedly... off subject... randomly as if he could alter the subject enough to keep the question from coming to him... "See Sadhric... you're just as good if not better at this whole mess.... " he was standing, head dropping eyes still closed as if he could find a way to sleep like this... "Tell me... can you really save him? Will you really save him?" He was looking away, or at least he face was pointed away, and through a thin slit in his eyes, he tried to pierce what darkness was in the cold crisp air...
Sadhric wanted to say No; I only told you what I do, not what I have to BE to do it. But he didn't. Because Caedmon had moved on, and the subject was his son. It was the will you? that kept The Mechanic silent a little longer, not the can you.
For a second, his jaw worked, but he didn't think Caedmon saw it. After a moment, he answered with perfect honesty, letting go of his dishonesty-by-implication, and the expression on his face was one of rare empathy:
"I don't know."
Tears threatened to sting his eyes, and his felt his stomach twist in knots, because... because what could he do? He tossed a silent pray to the Force, mumbled words that he remembered all to well... and prepared himself for what would be a life-time of agony because of the decision he made this night.. Even as his eyes peered up to the stars, and he felt his throat tighten... Then those eyes swept around him... wanting to see everything, from himself to Sadhric... Because he -needed- to have this memory as emblazoned in his mind for all of eternity... Tonight was the night he released what was left of himself. The night he betrayed Jonas Cato, the only family he had... his son... in the contest between Galaxy and Jonas... he had to pick galaxy...
"Fair enough..." was all that he could choke out... all that he could think as he turned 'round in the cold snow... shed an invisible weight, and died.. If Jonas did survive, did get free... then maybe one day he could forgive his father... It didn't mean he wouldn't stop looking for a way to save him... it just meant his priority wasn't to look...
He'd rot in all of the Corellian hells for this night.
Sadhric whispered, "I'm sorry," and meant it.
The bar was deserted for once, except that Sadhric was there, methodically calibrating a meter-long black weapon that looked like a godsdamned miniature cannon. Out on the bar was something that resembled a datapad, but it was projecting a series of little colorful holoreadouts in the air just above it. The first image was of a red grid that was spread across some multi-colored splotches. The second image was a bit less cryptic: it was very clearly an image of icy Elom at night--some nearly featureless expanse of snow-dusted ice. The third projection was just a constantly changing scroll of numbers and calculations of some kind. This last datafeed at times seemed to pulse in sync with the colorful array in the grid.
The Mechanic himself, glancing over at these images every now and then, appeared suited up for a nighttime excursion into the frigid air, and he moved with a brusque speed that suggested some urgency. It also suggested that this was not a planned outing.
In the corner of the bar, Caedmon was sitting, his own fingers rapping softly across the keys to his datapad... He couldn't stop moving... he had to move faster. He had trusted Sadhric to do what needed to be done, but he had to do something himself... the galaxy needed him... he couldn't be so selfish as to stop for just a single person... though somewhere in his heart he was whispering, "If a Jedi Can't stop for a single person... what’s a Jedi good for?" His hand pushed back his hair as he finally looked up... they'd relocate the Jedi to a better place... Somewhere in the outer-rim... maybe Seth's new 'theme' park. Brown eyes narrowed and tried to focus on what Sadhric was working on, before he finally stood and made his way towards the Mechanic... slow, sluggish... exhausted.
When he finally did reach Sadhric, he was forcing a smile across his lips, and leaning over the bar to grab a bottle of Lum Ale, natively brewed, it wasn't as good as the stuff from the core... or Corellia for that matter, but what did it matter at the moment... "How long will you stay?" His voice was quiet, distant and possibly lost in the images that roved through his mind like Fire over long grass...
"Not long," The Mechanic said distractedly as something rippled in a corner of the snowscape image and caught his attention. "There's not much I can do from here that wouldn't be improved by my being closer to the action."
His eyes remained on the holo for a moment longer before he straightened a bit more and looked squarely at Caedmon. A minute pause. Then, softly, he said, "Cato... you have to let this pass through you."
Caedmon hadn't noticed the ripple, he might as well have been looking at a blank screen for all that he perceived... "Aye... " Was his response to Sadhric saying he wasn't going to stay long, he had expected that, and that he too would be gone before tomorrows end... And then Sadhric was looking at him, and he said something... something that made Cae's face contort with anger... Let this pass through you? Did Sadhric know what he was saying? He shook his head, and his face was blank of emotions, and he was digging deep to find a way to use the force for strength, for energy... but couldn't seem to come up with anything..." I can't do that Sadhric..." This would kill him for the rest of his life, even when Jonas was safely returned, even -if- Jonas was safely returned... because he had been too slow yet again... too wrapped up! He had failed, yet again. And when he needed not to fail most... Jonas could be killed... He was looking back towards the door... "Is there anything you need?" Apparently the Lum ale was all forgotten about...
Sadhric was very still, watching him. And then he was swinging the weapon around and securing it across his back. Attention on the clasps, he said, "Yes. I need backup. Get on a coat."
He blinked, confused for a few seconds... "Shall I get some of the other Jedi?" He was already moving for where he had hung up his robe, trying to force himself to be faster than he had been moving only a few moments ago, to ill effect... and actually causing himself to yawn. When the robe was on his shoulders he was following Sadhric... "What are we dealing with anyway?"
"Not entirely sure yet," Sadhric said. "I was going to go out to have a look alone, but you're here, you're awake, and you're in desperate need of some distraction, so I'm going to tolerate your company."
"How kind of you... to tolerate my company, as you have done so many times in the past.. " He attempted humor with, such lack-luster in his voice the sarcasm was lost, and it could have easily sounded sincere... He didn't object to any of Sadhric's other statements about his need for distraction, he wouldn't have wanted Tlin to go out checking a potentially lethal situation alone in any-case... not when Sadhric's life just might mean his sons own...
"Volumes will be recorded about my kindness, no doubt," Sadhric said under his breath as he straightened up and turned to snatch up the little datapad. The holos snapped out of existence before his hand closed on the device, and he shoved it into a pocket on his coat. He didn't wait for Cato, specifically, as he moved out the door, but neither was he intentionally leaving Caedmon behind. His manner was almost--but not quite--indifferent. And he walked right past the GDR, rather than getting on it. Apparently, he was prepared to head out on foot.
Cato was struggling to follow behind Tlin, too slow, too sluggish... and he didn't seem to notice this until Sadhric was more than a few feet away, and even by extending his gait that he couldn't catch up.. Frowning, he forced himself to at least walk at a normal pace, as long as Sadhric didn't get out of sight than it should have been all good.. He hadn't been surprised by the lack of using the GDR (especially since he hadn't much enjoyed his last ride on the blasted thing). His mind continued to work round the clock as he followed... most specifically, just how was Sadhric going to rescue Jonas? How was he going to disinfect the boy? It made him sick every time he thought that one twist of anger from Khetu could be the end of Jonas...
Still moving in the same direction at the same pace, Sadhric spun around to walk for a moment backwards so that he could watch the Jedi. "Step up the pace, Jedi, or go back."
Caedmon grunted and tried to draw any energy that he could from the force to move quicker, and with a bit of his own personal energy, managed to pick up his pace, if only to keep from having to leave a potentially dangerous situation to Tlin alone...
That effort seemed to satisfy Sadhric, because he turned back around. But he also moved from a walk to a jog, jumping down a few steps and leaving the covered walkway and out onto the pristine snow, leaving clear tracks. He spun about as he had before, checking to make sure Caedmon was keeping up.
Caedmon was indeed keeping up, because in the back of his head there were words he had thought he had forgotten... ~Too slow Cato! Too Slow Caedmon! Faster! Can't you move any Faster Cato?! Your too slow to do any good!~ and when the words came back to his mind, he was moving forward, almost angry, because he remembered the replies that went with him... And with a bit more energy, and he was keeping only a few paces behind Tlin, dropping down the stairs with something similar to his old walk, but definitely lacking something else...
Sadhric snapped, "You've gotten slow," when he turned back around and glanced over his shoulder at Caedmon. "You're no good to me if you're going to stay this slow." He picked up his own pace, across the shallow dusting of snow, running now despite being weighed down a bit by his weapon and equipment.
The words seemed like a taunt.. If Sadhric had a weapon it must have been his wit, or his ability to read Caedmon like a book. Because the words seemed to be all that Caedmon needed to hear... even if it sparked a bit of anger...Gotten Slow? No Good to him?! No good to anyone... he couldn't accept that... because with those words he could almost hear the voice of his ancestor as he was trained... Remember Rik's last true words before being gunned down.. Remember the look on Ionda's face as he was only steps away! Too damned slow! And so at least one aspect of Cato's had returned... his movements became liquid, he steps flowed into the next, and he could have overtaken Tlin with a few steps, even as it was a run... It was all he could do, its all he had need to do... move quickly...
Pushing the pace still faster, Sadhric was a dark streak across the moonlit snow. The silver-blue landscape was pristine save for their shadowed tracks, and silent save for the crunching of their boots in the snow. The Mechanic had them run like that for over a mile before he slowed down, his quick breathing making clouds in front of his face.
Finally, he stopped and held up a hand as he caught his breath and fished out his datapad. "What does the Force tell you about what's out here with us?" he asked between breaths.
Caedmon skidded to a stop, nearly falling back on his arse, and was trying to catch his breath. He hadn't used Jedi breathing techniques, he had simply run, like he used to before he had learnt to be a Jedi... And in quickened and harsh breathes, he tried to open himself further to the Force, to gleam from it its secret knowledge that Sadhric requested... but, he was still far from it... far from the Mastery he could normally display... "I don't know... " He was leaning against a tree, shoulders raising and falling with his breathes.... Eyes still closed, he was still tapping outwards to try and find what Sadhric was looking for...
"'Don't know'," Sadhric spat. He waved his free hand in disgust as he eyed his datapad. "Should I have just brought a godsdamned droid? Go back, if you can't make yourself useful."
Cato had had enough... he was exhausted, emotionally tattered and trying his damned best to keep himself from simply leaving Elom, and going to get his son, in whatever way he could... Even if meant joining the Protectorate... the thought had crossed his mind for a long while, but he knew better... he couldn't. That would be a complete betrayal of all that he learned, all that he fought for... for even Jonas himself... But he had enough of being talked down to... and he simply... let his anger show... "Keep talking to me like that Sadhric, and it'll be a painful walk home for one of us..." He coughed up some phlegm, and spat it onto the ground as he came to his feet completely... eyes still closed, he was trying to find a live vein in him that might connect him to the Force and give Sadhric what information he wanted...
"Really," Sadhric said, sounding either satisfied or amused or both. "You can't even pace me at a jog, and you're going to do something to me? I doubt it, Cato. I really do."
"Don't... I could walk faster than you run... " He knew he couldn't... it had been an effort to run like that, but he had done it... no slowing down... he could move just as fast... "You doubt a lot of things Tlin.... but don't doubt me... and do not talk to me like you did...."
"Why not? You're a walking corpse, Cato."
Caedmon didn't even dignify that with a response, because it had gotten his anger flowing... and in a movement quicker than the eye could blink, his lightsabre was in his hand.. "Up ahead..." He was trying to reach out further, as well as push down his anger... "I can't tell just what though..."
"You're ignoring me because you just don't have a retort. You're slow. So should I trust you with that lightsaber in your hand? Should I trust you to watch my back? I don't think you could save your own life, let alone mine."
"Shut up... Or we'll see how slow I am..." If anything truly offended him, it was most obviously those words... You're slow... "Now Focus, you brought me out here, what is it you're looking for? Or thought you saw?"
The Mechanic ran right over Caedmon's attempts to put the night's excursion back on track. "Let's see it. Let's see that Jedi speed," he taunted. "Come on. You made the threat. Don't back down from it now."
Caedmon growled, and if asked later, he'd die trying to remember where he got the energy to move forward from, but he knew it was from a source far disconnected from the Force. And with a single step, he had moved from the tree, in a single spin that had twirling orange light strike clear through the limb of the tree and even manage to carry him closer to Sadhric both sabres now in hand, tree falling awkwardly to the side... A flick of his wrist, and Caedmon's blade was leveled with Tlin's neck before dying out. "Enough Tlin... Did you pull me out here for something... or just to get on my nerves?"
"To get on your nerves," Sadhric said flatly, unflinching. "To make sure you still have some." He tilted his head slightly, pulling off his Lenses, narrowing his eyes. "What you're feeling now... isn't helpful though, I know. It's not what you want to be feeling. I know that, too. You're not the kind of man who can be fooled by anger. You know that the speed it gives you, the power, is not what you really want. I know you know that. Whatever else is inside of you, you do have that knowledge, and you're not a man who can ignore that for very long."
Caedmon clipped the sabres to his waist, simply falling back, onto his ass.. He was quiet for a long moment, because the last thought he had was he could give Sadhric and get Jonas... He plopped himself back onto the snow, so that even his head was in the ice... He wanted to be frozen here, to awaken when it was all done... "You know, I could just give them you, and get him back.... but I wouldn't do that. I could go, and be with him, and to hell with the rest of the galaxy.... And yet I can't do any of these things... the thought of them makes me feel less of a man.... Or like a traitor to Jonas... to everyone who’s trying to beat the Protectorate..." His eyes were still closed, and he didn't feel the cold the surrounded him, it had long since taken him... " I'm just tired, Sadhric..." His voice was quiet, and it was a whisper... as if a commitment to something that hadn't happened yet. "Exhausted... I know a lot of things, and you're right... the anger is not something I want... but right now, here and now... I simply can't find anything else..." Brown orbs were opened, staring at the starry expanse.... trying to cut down some of the hectic thoughts the grabbed at him... "How do you do it, Tlin?"
"Differently now than I used to," Sadhric said cryptically, eyeing the Jedi as he reached back and drew up his hood. "It wouldn't help you to know how I do it, because it's a space, and I'm trying my damnedest not to be here myself. I'd much rather be where you are, even now. Even if that landed me in a trade for your son." He turned a little, checking the snowscape around them--somewhat less pristine now than when they'd set out. "And you're better at the things that one has to be good at in order to get out of this kind of trap whole--much better at them than I have ever been. You already have your tools."
Caedmon didn't really get what Sadhric meant, he tried to, for several long moments he was trying to pick apart what the man said... "I mean... you’re very much in the situation that I am... except for longer... And yet you move on, you stay strong... It has to be killing you inside..." A psycho had their children... A Psycho was invested in giving all his attention to Tlin's daughter who thought of nothing more than to kill him..."And for a lot more pain... and here you are... baby-sitting over a young man, who wishes he never left Tatooine for Dathomir... or better, wishes he had never set foot off Corellian Soil..." He might have laughed if he wasn't dead serious... "No... I don't think so... " He was frowning now... " Nothing that enters my senses gets to escape... it builds a lot... but you... you remain strong.... A lot of people want to see you dead, or enslaved... or both... and you're still going... still finding ways to help without so much as claiming any credit or letting others know... "
"It doesn't take strength to be used to something." The Mechanic frowned, and shrugged a little. "People have always wanted me dead, or to have me work for them. That's been 'how things are' for so long now...." He shrugged again, shaking his head a little. "What's new about it for me, Cato? The faces change. Maybe the script is edited slightly. But it's all the same old story, replayed over and over again." A little humorless laugh, and suddenly Sadhric was smiling lopsidedly. "The only new thing is...." Abruptly, he lost that short-lived smile. "... her. And there are others, too, who are new. I never cared this much about the outcome of things before, and it's because of them. I've never felt the consequences of my own actions so keenly. That's new, too. That's why I have stayed within striking distance.... I could vanish. They could never find me if that's what I chose to do. Not your Jedi, not Ashton, not anyone. But I'm going to try to chip away at this even if it kills me because this is my fault, and these people who are paying the price don't deserve it."
"When its done... that’s what I'll do..." He sighed quietly, sitting himself up, and shrugging off the snow... She was something new... she was definitely something new... "Make her a body, a clone.... then trap her in it like all of us are trapped in ours... " He was speaking off handedly... off subject... randomly as if he could alter the subject enough to keep the question from coming to him... "See Sadhric... you're just as good if not better at this whole mess.... " he was standing, head dropping eyes still closed as if he could find a way to sleep like this... "Tell me... can you really save him? Will you really save him?" He was looking away, or at least he face was pointed away, and through a thin slit in his eyes, he tried to pierce what darkness was in the cold crisp air...
Sadhric wanted to say No; I only told you what I do, not what I have to BE to do it. But he didn't. Because Caedmon had moved on, and the subject was his son. It was the will you? that kept The Mechanic silent a little longer, not the can you.
For a second, his jaw worked, but he didn't think Caedmon saw it. After a moment, he answered with perfect honesty, letting go of his dishonesty-by-implication, and the expression on his face was one of rare empathy:
"I don't know."
Tears threatened to sting his eyes, and his felt his stomach twist in knots, because... because what could he do? He tossed a silent pray to the Force, mumbled words that he remembered all to well... and prepared himself for what would be a life-time of agony because of the decision he made this night.. Even as his eyes peered up to the stars, and he felt his throat tighten... Then those eyes swept around him... wanting to see everything, from himself to Sadhric... Because he -needed- to have this memory as emblazoned in his mind for all of eternity... Tonight was the night he released what was left of himself. The night he betrayed Jonas Cato, the only family he had... his son... in the contest between Galaxy and Jonas... he had to pick galaxy...
"Fair enough..." was all that he could choke out... all that he could think as he turned 'round in the cold snow... shed an invisible weight, and died.. If Jonas did survive, did get free... then maybe one day he could forgive his father... It didn't mean he wouldn't stop looking for a way to save him... it just meant his priority wasn't to look...
He'd rot in all of the Corellian hells for this night.
Sadhric whispered, "I'm sorry," and meant it.