Post by Bobbi on Jan 24, 2019 17:55:22 GMT -5
“Its -- like one of those nightmares that just keeps coming back. An endless cycle that just keeps repeating on itself. When I think back over the years that I dreamt something like this would happen, and how I’d wake up and everything would still be alright. Maybe we weren’t talking, maybe he’d be mad at me -- but he was still there. My brother is still there. I need to go help them, I have to do this. Someone’s brother might have been caught in it, someone’s sister or mother. Someone’s father. Someone’s child. I can imagine what it feels like to lose someone like that, to have them ripped away and taken back to The Force. I thought I’d lost my family once, during the war. I thought I’d lost you, and the kids. I need to do what I can to help them because of that. I think about how it felt to not know, how hard it was to accept that I’d likely never be seeing anyone I loved ever again only to have that pain turned into life resurfaced -- If anyone is alive down there, I need to have a hand in finding it, a hand in figuring out just what happened.
And if anything happens to me while I am away, know that I love you. That I love our children. What I’ve begun building at our home isn’t much now, but if its tended to -- if my instructions are followed -- their lives and your’s will be well seen to. There will never be empty bellies, or cold little feet. There will always be danger, but with what I’ve put in place hopefully that danger will learn that it needs to stay as far away from you three as possible.
I know that there wasn’t much time for what we had, and I hope that there will be more time for it in the future.
I need you to know something, though, on the chance that I do not return to you and our children. I will always live in fear of what tomorrow may bring, and that used to be because of how tomorrow might hurt me. Now, I fear it because I don’t want to wake up and find that it was all just another dream. You, Zachory, and Ureala are so much more than I deserve in this life.
I am sorry that I am leaving you like this for the time being, that I needed to go where The Force calls me to be. I hope you understand why, though. I hope that you do not come to hold it against me. I hope the same for the children, as well. Do not hate me for this, I will be doing my very best to return to you.
That day will be in the back of my mind until it comes to pass. Please, know that is the truth.
I love you, Trin. I love our son, and my daughter. I miss you all.”
And if anything happens to me while I am away, know that I love you. That I love our children. What I’ve begun building at our home isn’t much now, but if its tended to -- if my instructions are followed -- their lives and your’s will be well seen to. There will never be empty bellies, or cold little feet. There will always be danger, but with what I’ve put in place hopefully that danger will learn that it needs to stay as far away from you three as possible.
I know that there wasn’t much time for what we had, and I hope that there will be more time for it in the future.
I need you to know something, though, on the chance that I do not return to you and our children. I will always live in fear of what tomorrow may bring, and that used to be because of how tomorrow might hurt me. Now, I fear it because I don’t want to wake up and find that it was all just another dream. You, Zachory, and Ureala are so much more than I deserve in this life.
I am sorry that I am leaving you like this for the time being, that I needed to go where The Force calls me to be. I hope you understand why, though. I hope that you do not come to hold it against me. I hope the same for the children, as well. Do not hate me for this, I will be doing my very best to return to you.
That day will be in the back of my mind until it comes to pass. Please, know that is the truth.
I love you, Trin. I love our son, and my daughter. I miss you all.”
