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Post by Ang on Jun 20, 2007 13:57:21 GMT -5
***PART I: HAVEN*** The answer wasn’t ‘yes’. The answer was a solid need for some serious soul-searching for Cecily Lacoste-Tempest… I thought to myself as I got in my TC-1 and sat for a moment. Then I glanced over at Rogue Six, her scarred durasteel exterior and fuselage beckoned me for a spin, but I refrained, and decided that it was best to not look in that direction of my life, at least not right now.
Happy memories, sad memories, downright fucking awful memories…That’s what this fly girl lives off of, and I actually think that’s what’s holding me back right now. Well, that and fear.
Hah! Fear. What do real people know about fear anyway? What do the little people down on the surface of Kuat right now know what it’s like to have no throttle control despite a cold start and feel your inertial compensator malfunction as you plummet in a flat-spinning archaic B-Wing toward the surface of Kashyyyk? Or get sideswiped by a concussion missile above Toprawa, get pinned behind your stick as your face gets sliced by your shattering visor when your head collides with the fuselage? Then wake up in the infirmary two days later, bacta in short supply only to have your broken bones dry-set, a new scar on your face, receive a field promotion and told to start flying again?
Normal people would shit bricks. For me? That’s life. That was seriously what I lived for, for three years! What type of sadistic moron does someone have to be to command such punishment? Oh yeah, that’s right. Rogue Squadron- Guts, glory, and inevitable death that I somehow cheated.
Space…Always cold and unwelcoming, even now in the short hop over to Haven orbiting outside of the Driveyards it’s threatening. It wants my life, and I don’t plan for it to claim it anytime soon.
…Oh shut up, Cecily you melodramatic little bitch. What kind of nerph-shit is that? Bah…
I remember when Maeve gave us the chat on survivor’s guilt. I knew that feeling long before thinking of even stepping foot on a Resistance cruiser. There is no greater guilt then having to watch your husband and son die in front of you. There is no greater want of death, and emotional destruction than that. Don’t kriffing tell me about survivor’s guilt when no dead pilot is going to get the time of day from survivor…This cheater of death.
Vagabond’s Haven, not even Mos Eisley is a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. The Bufftons ARE scum and villainy, and this is their base of operation. Xaiyla is on here somewhere, cozy with her child and husband in some posh apartment, stealing a life I only dreamed about after we fled Commenor...Given everything she ever wanted from day one.
Oh well, you know what they say, Cecily, ‘A working class hero is something to be.’
I have known nothing more than the working class, and never really wanted anything else. My personal glory as a child came from my few academic achievements and gymnastics medals here and there...Okay, so I won the gold for Commenor in the Galactic Games the year they were in Anteluma, so I pretty much became a household name across the planet, but look at me now…Oh kriff look at me now! Cecily Tempest, heroine of the war, a household name across the fracking galaxy! I know it, I’ve seen those damned headlines: ‘Antilles and Tempest Triumphant Over 2nd Battle of Gala!’ ‘Riskyll, Tempest, and Antilles Win the War Over Naboo!’ Antilles…That’s a demon to confront later.
Haven’s docks are still a shithole, they just better not touch my fighter or I’ll kill a bastard. Yeah, you saw my identification and sidearm there, deck officer. That’s right, Cecily Tempest will bust a cap in your skull.
Rogue Squadron gave me a terrible ego boost, but I suppose it’s not all bad. I feel I’m entitled to it. For instance, the clothes I’m changing into right now from my flight suit…I didn’t use to wear such nice things as these fine leather heeled boots, low-rising, perfectly creased black slacks, this tight black turtleneck and this pretty awesome black raw-silk woven poncho for over it all…It’s official, I’m so full of myself that I just described my outfit to myself. Ugh. Anyways, it’s a lot of black, but it’s stylish, and as long as I am recognizable, I need to dress the part. I can’t be covered in grease on an oversized coverall, despite comfort. A commander of the New Order Navy demands such fineries when in public and not in uniform, plus, my salaries more than cover it all. That and fuck uniforms.
I owe a lot of it to Blackmoon. She may have been a raging lesbian but it was her that insisted that as a woman, I needed to look like one. Of course she probably just wanted me looking hot, but it did help my confidence…and I do look hot.
Oh get over it, cabbie, here’s your damn fare and take me to my family, my ass isn’t yours to look at. Thanks.
This is where I’m torn about the Bufftons; in one hand they are nothing more than a family of organized crime who can’t even get along with themselves and run the galaxy as their own personal business…and then there is that ounce of charity. As refugees of the Protectorate flooding space, Maltez opened his doors and my family had found a new home. Haven was split into multiple districts of housing for the rich and poor. When we got here, it was the poor, but now…I’m looking up at a four bedroom condo with a balcony overlooking a courtyard in a gated sector miles from the ghetto. The Bufftons spare no expense to those they find are worth it and my family was no exception.
My father is one of, if not, the best engineer the BTC has ever employed, and I don’t say that just ‘cause he’s my dad. Dexter Lacoste kicks ass, and I’m proud to say that I learned my trade from a great person. And great people deserve great rewards, which I was I was offered the contract for the fighters and my service. There goes my ego again…
I really do wonder what Riskyll saw in me when I joined Rogue. I enlisted as a mechanic and hired as a pilot. Damn, I was in rough shape too: pale, too-skinny and wearing a coverall that didn’t fit. Not to mention I was generally miserable and not such a pleasure to talk to. I know that because everyone told me so. Well, what the hells? Really? What did you want from me? I’m not that kinda redhead…
So here I am in front of my parents’ door…Let’s give it a knock and see what happens. They haven’t been talking to me since the whole thing when I told them what had happened and that I can use the Force more these days, and they determined it to be the Darkside and whatnot, and told me that I was danger to myself and others if I pursued training. I basically told them to fuck off.
The door is opening… “Hey Mama…” Look! See! I’m smiling! Please smile back.
My mom is beautiful, and I’ve thought this since I was a little girl. She was a gymnast too as a kid, and could have passed as a runway model. Even know, with her age lines and four kids’ worth of gray hair she’s still stunning.
Why are you giving me that look, Mama? Say something!
“Cecily?”
What now? You can’t recognize me?
So I nod… “Yeah…I…we need to uh…” Her arms just flew around me. Heh, I guess no hard feelings, eh, Ma? “It’s good to see you.” “Shut up, girlie! Your father and I have been worried sick. Get your ass in here with us. I know we need to talk.” My family is so eloquent…For urbanites. So I walk in…and there’s Dad.
“Sweetie?” And he rushes at me…You’d think I was dead or something, OOF, and his hugs are always more than a bit overpowering when he’s excited.
“Look…I…” Oh stop stammering. “I know what I said was wrong and I’m sorry.”
I have the same eyes as my dad, so it’s always been an odd feeling when he looks at me dead on. “An apology is not necessary, sweetie, you’re going through a hard time right now and we should have been more supportive. I’m just so proud that you’re overcoming this so well.” “Somehow.” What the fuck do I mean by that? Oh yeah…I haven’t actually started cutting myself again or stopped eating, maybe because Ayden didn’t actually die, and we really haven’t broken up fully, apparently. Sithspit, I don’t really even know. They know that I found him alive, and they know that we’ve been fighting, but do they know…
“Ayden asked me to marry him.” “We know.” Damn them. Er…Mom’s eyes are twinkling, I know that look. “Your brother called us and told us right after you left, he also said that he wasn’t supposed to call us and to play it off as if we didn’t know you were coming…but anyway, what are you going to say?” A lump just appeared in my throat, ugh, “That’s what I came to talk about…Should I?” “Why the hells are you asking us? This is your choice, Cec.” Thanks for the support, Dad. “Well I don’t know! One minute we’re fighting and the next he can’t live without me. What am I supposed to say about that?” Mom’s rubbing my back a bit, maybe she’ll get that itch… “That boy looks at you in a way I never seen any boy, not even Tristan, look at you, Cecily.” She’s testing me for a reaction, I know she is. I did feel a twinge in my gut when she said that, but I hope I didn’t make a face. “He could just be crazy…” “Then you two make a hell of a pair, ‘cause last time I checked you ain’t too mentally stable yourself.” Ah, Celia, another galaxy heard from. There will be no loving embrace from this punkass though. Same hair, same eyes, she’s like my clone these days…wow…Hey girl, wanna fly X-Wings? “Nice to see you too, where are you going?” “Out.” She just gave me a shoulder of pure ice that little… “Just make sure the bridesmaids dresses aren’t ugly.” “Who said I was even…” Voice, meet door. “Teenagers can be so emotional.” “Yeah, so can twenty-eight year old women.” “Tell me about it.” What the hells? “Hey!” And now they are laughing at my expense. Thanks. “Cecily, I think you’re confronting the wrong fear.” Dad’s getting prophetic. “Who should you really be asking if it’s alright for you to re-marry?” That time I know I made a face. “Go to Commenor. You know where he is.” “But…” “No buts.” Mom is in the ring now…“I think you need to do this. It’s time for you to leave it all in the past.” “I don’t want to.” “I don’t think it’s a matter of wanting, Cecily. I think this is a matter of needing.” Come on, Cecily, defend yourself, “I don’t see why I should go and talk to a grave…”
“Well then don’t, and don’t marry Ayden.”
“What?!”
“See you do want to marry him!”
Damn them.
“And Tristan would want you to be happy. No more grieving at his expense, Cecily. It’s time to say goodbye.”
Dexter Lacoste – A great man; an even greater father.
That deep breath felt amazing just now, and they’re right. They’ve always been right.
“I guess I gotta go.”
“You guess correctly. I’ll call you a repulsor-cab.” Dad seems way too giddy.
“Are you sure she shouldn’t stay for dinner?”
“Oh come now, Brena, you’re going to stall her even more?”
“Good point, get the hells out of here!”
OW! She just pushed me!
“But…”
“Alright, taxi’s called to get you back to the spaceport levels, and it should be here any second since they had one in the vicinity. Need anything for the road?”
Commenor is about a three hour hyperspace jump from Kuat, I should probably grab something.
“I’ll be fine. We’re not too far off.”
Wow, I’m a liar.
“Either way, I may just grab something on the run. That cabbie should be here soon…”
“Cecily…” Mom’s arms are around me again…Actually, I’m not sure that she ever let go. “Be safe, be strong, and please, please, PLEASE control your emotions.”
She says that like it’s going to be easy, “I will.” Gotta tell her what she wants to hear.
“Brena, let her go. This is important.”
Back to the cold of space…back to facing more fears..............................
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Post by Ang on Jun 20, 2007 19:06:17 GMT -5
***PART II: COMMENOR*** Damn, just looking down at the surface of Commenor is making me feel cold. I haven’t set foot on the streets of Anteluma since…Well, since we left.
It looks different now because of the reconstruction, but luckily it was spared the brunt of the Cataclysm. However, the heart of the city is still there, I can feel it…and it’s making me nauseous.
Looks like it was a nice day, but the sun is setting now…the very sun I was born under. There’s always an odd feeling when you’re at home after being away for so long, but the star always welcomes you back.
I don’t want to do this. I really suddenly do NOT want to go through with what I promised my folks I would. I could lie, I could show them my log that I was here and maybe they would buy it. No, they wouldn’t. Dad would know. He always knows…
It’s getting a little cold; I should pull my poncho up. Now to find the mausoleum…Tristan and my son’s ashes were sent back to Commenor with a smuggler to my sister so that they could be treated to a proper grave.
Tristan’s parents were nowhere to be found at the time, and I assume they’re dead anyway by now, thanks to Mekhetu, as I’ve heard nothing from them in this year following the war.
Here it is, oh Force help me, please. It’s so quiet, am I the only one here? I hope so; I’m so not looking forward to this.
I haven’t been in a memorial house like this in years…I forgot how overwhelming it is with each name along the rows of marble and holograms, marking the final resting place of so many Commenorians like myself.
Where am I? Let’s see…Mar-Mel-Moo—Oh gods…I forgot. I wasn’t ready for this…The stone is so cold as I run my finger across your name-
CELESTE LACOSTE MOONRAKER
“Celeste…” I’m crying, already I’m crying. That didn’t take long. “I can’t believe I forgot you’re here too…And the baby. Oh, Celeste, I’m sorry! I’m sorry you were left behind and that this happened to you by that Praetorian bastard of a husband! “I wish you were still here, I could use you’re advice and your kind words.” The marble is unforgiving to my fist…I’ll bleed if I keep this up. “If only I had the ability to bring you back. You did NOT deserve this! No woman, no mother, deserves to die the way you did! I’m sorry; I should have come for you as soon as Commenor was liberated. I failed you as a sister and a friend…I will find Nathan, I will take him in and raise him has my own, or at least see to it that he is well loved and safe. “I’m getting married again, Cel, by the Force I wish you were alive. I miss you…And I love you, Celeste. But I gotta find Tristan now. Thank you for taking care of him for me…Thank you for being strong when I was not.” It hurts to walk away, and my hand is killing me from hitting that plaque…My face is soaked now, and it’s only going to get worse. Sithspit, Celeste, I brought you nothing, forgive me…Forgive me from walking away but I have a bigger demon to face right now.
TRISTAN TEMPEST AND SON
…And son. My baby…The plaque is beautiful, Celeste, and stretching all the way to the ground too. Good thing, because my legs gave out fast.
They’ve been gone now for five years, yet the pain hasn’t faded one bit, this deep, stabbing pain that rips through my chest at the speed of light, knocking the wind from out of me and my legs from under me. And now, all I can do is cry, and clutch this pillar of rock as if somehow I’ll be able to get some sort of warmth out of it…Some sort of life.
Is it supposed to be like this? Is it supposed to hurt after so long? I thought I cried all of these tears already…
“Tristan, I’m sorry…”
I didn’t think I’d ever be able to bring myself to speak, even if it’s just a sobby whisper. [/]
“I couldn’t save you. I watched it…it happened so fast and…I don’t even know what to say…I couldn’t save our baby either. He was taken before his time and I watched him take his first and last break within minutes of each other.
“Is he with you too, Tris? Is he safe? He would be so big now…Some say when we die; you become one with the Force. Others believe in heavens and hells. I don’t know where you are, but I bet it’s beautiful.”
My sobs are subsiding, the words are coming clearer.
“Does he smile just like you? Your smile was the best. I’ll never forget that first smile you gave me in my father’s shop. You were making the same deliveries you always did, and stopped at the counter where Celeste and I were working because we were too young to be on the floor with the rest of the mechanics. I had just come back from gymnastics practice, and I know I looked sweaty and disheveled, but to you that must not have mattered. You flashed me that smile as you walked past, and Celeste just grabbed my arm and said ‘wow’.
“Somehow she knew that smile wasn’t for her, despite you were more her age than mine. I was what? Fifteen? That would’ve made you nineteen. Everyday after that, I got that same smile…One of them accompanying a note that asked me to dinner.
“Gods, we were so young, that was more than ten years ago. We would see each other almost every night, but it never moved too fast. I think it’s because you were scared of what my dad could and would do to you.
“Though my parents were very fond of you. There was that one dinner we had with everyone over. Celeste was pregnant with Nathan and Seifer was boasting on how awesome he was for being a Jedi, and then asked you what you did, as if to reinforce his ego. You replied, ‘My only accomplishment is to live, enjoy life, and bring that same enjoyment to those around me.’ It was you who should have been the Jedi. Not that maniac.”
A sigh, it feels good.
“Then there was the night I would never forget. You were there when I won the gold for Commenor, right here in Anteluma in front of an audience of nearly a million spectators in the main arena. I don’t know how you did it, but you made it to that floor and took me in your arms before my own teammates could.
“That night we made love for the first time…in the back of your skiff. If was definitely not the most glamorous way to lose my virginity, no, but it didn’t matter to us then, did it? Because, you asked me to marry you that night…
“You didn’t have the money to buy me a ring so instead you gave me a necklace of pearls and diamonds that had once belonged to your grandmother. The rings came later, but I never questioned your engagement gift to me.
“The wedding was small, but again, it didn’t matter. Nothing every really did matter to us…Then when I told you I was pregnant those few years later, and your face once again had that incredible smile, you told me that it was the happiest moment of your life to learn that you would be a father, and that not a thing in the galaxy would ever take away that feeling.
“Did you die happy, Tristan? Knowing that I was still carrying your child and that you were still a father?”
The tears are falling again.
“Did your love for me falter when I never got that last chance to tell you that I loved you? Did you know? It nearly killed me, Tristan; losing both you and the baby we never named. His labor took my ability to have kids away forever, and I felt like my whole purpose was suddenly destroyed with that news. I WAS destroyed…But you saw that, you had to have seen that.
“Do you see Ayden? Do you like him? Tristan, I’m so afraid to let go, I don’t even know if I should move on. I do want to be with him, but I couldn’t bear you being upset with me over it. You were never mad at me, ever…And I know you would want me to be happy, forever and always. I guess that’s why I had to come here. I have to stay goodbye…If I have to move on if I ever really truly want to be happy, I want to have your blessing I suppose, I…”
“Excuse me, miss, but we have to lock up soon.”
Oh that scared me, it’s a caretaker.
“I’m sorry, I…Thanks for the tissue.”
“My pleasure, miss, I didn’t want to interrupt you, but I don’t want you getting locked in, either.”
“I understand, I’ll just finish up.”
I must look like hell. Though I’m sure this guy is used to it.
“You’re Cecily Tempest?”
Oh Sithspit, another avid fan.
“Yes, yes I am.”
“I have something for you! I’ve been holding this for a few years.”
There’s a secret compartment in the column that he’s reaching in…I definitely don’t want ashes. I’m all set…
“When the ashes where brought here, an order was placed to have some of them pushed into a diamond, from both your husband and son. I was told to give it to you when you would visit. There’s a note with it too.”
Come on, hands, stop shaking for one minute to open this…
“Oh my…wow…it’s…”
“Square cut, almost two karats. Took us longer than usual to press but there you go.”
I gotta read the note outloud, I can’t help it…
“Cecily, this is the least I can do for you knowing that you’re going through so much. Remember…”
Damnit, the tears, the sobs…
“Remember that a family should always be cherished, and now you can wear yours near your heart always. Take care, love you, see you soon, Celeste.”
She did this for me! My own sister did this! Don’t squeeze the box so hard, idiot or you’ll bust it.
“…Thank you.”
He’s such a nice old man.
“I’ll give you a few more minutes, sweetheart.”
“Wait!”
“Yes?”
“Do you think…Do you think they can hear me?”
That smile…
“They hear whatever you have to tell them. No matter where you are.”
As I run my fingers over his name, our name, I keep thinking how beautiful this is…
“This diamond is from you, Tristan. You can’t fool me…But I have to go. I do have something for you, and the baby too…Let him know that his mom can kick ass an X-Wing. Here…This is my Rogue Squadron pin, and a patch from an EV suit. It’s nothing special, but I’m not about to leave a snubfighter key in a public place…I think naming a class of fighters after you is quite enough, don’t you think? Besides, I guess my name won’t be Tempest anymore soon…If that’s okay of course.”
What was that noise? Oh, the caretaker opened the door for me.
“I guess that’s a sign. You’re telling me to get the hells out.”
Ugh, my knees are killing me from the floor. I don’t think that pop was natural.
“I love you, both of you. Please take care of Celeste. I’ll try to come back again. It’s wrong for me not to visit…Goodbye.”
Oh how that hurts.
“Goodbye.”
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Post by Ang on Jun 20, 2007 19:09:23 GMT -5
***PART III: CORELLIA*** [Why am I doing this? I’m really a glutton for punishment these days, damn. But I really gotta talk to him. We gotta straighten things out…
Nylan Antilles…What are you? My best friend or my worst enemy? Are you a driving force in my life or the bane of my very existence?
…And now we’ve seen each other naked. If that doesn’t complicate things I don’t know what does. Yeah, no doubt that Ayden wants you dead, if not drawn and quartered for what happened, but it’s just as much my fault as yours.
I guess our attraction to each other was really quite inevitable. When you spend so much time with someone it’s bound to happen. Though I’ll admit I was drawn to you from the get go. Too bad you treated me like hell.
No. That’s wrong, you really didn’t. We treated each other like SHIT.
I always had it in my head that you hated me as your wingman, which always pushed me to be better, but I think that was the whole idea, wasn’t it? To push me? And I never let your sorry ass down. My first battle, at Toprawa, I had ten kills before taking a hit. That made me an ace times two, and you never gave me grief after that about my flying.
Then things got personal…Then it was war. In the skies we were an unmatchable pair but out of our command couches and it was a different story. Unless it was squadron-related, we never got along. I had to actually knock you out cold to get clearance to work on your X-Wing…but you got me back by having me give up my wedding ring…Which you probably pawned off.
Nylan, you brought me back to the real world; you gave me a damn wake up call. You made me realize my potential, and I thank you for it…Which is why I’m coming to see you. We need to talk, or have a fistfight.
That night we shared was a mistake, and we both know it. We aren’t supposed to be lovers, we’d kill each other before we’d be finished screwing, as good as that could have been…UGH. What am I thinking?!
Only great friends fight like we do, I just didn’t realize it because I hadn’t had one in a while. My guess is that you haven’t either. So when we clashed, it made it worse because we didn’t realize what was happening. Our respect for each other is so deep and strong we could almost think it was love, maybe it is…but more like that of a brother and sister. You probably would have fit right in with my crazy family, and then Cedric wouldn’t have been so out-numbered either.
Maybe that’s how it’s supposed to be, then. We definitely protect each other like a brother and sister would. It makes sense; I’ll have to bring that up when I see you in a bit. This is one hell of a rehearsal.
It’s summer in this part of Corellia, and it was late autumn in Anteluma, I’m probably going to get sick from the climates. Good thing I brought this tank top because I will boil in that turtleneck.
Coronet is huge, I forgot. Much bigger than Anteluma, but still the same urban sprawl. Hopefully I can rent a speeder to head out of town. I just have to remember where Nylan said his grandfather’s house was…Or I can ask for directions. I’m the she Antilles Ranch is quite the landmark around here… |
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Post by Ang on Jul 5, 2007 11:15:51 GMT -5
The Antilles House was a few miles out of Coronet, but with Cecily's inability to maintain any sort of speed control on her rent-a-speeder, she arrived in no time. Naturally, her visit was uninvited or planned, so she hoped that she would at least find Nylan at home...It would only take a few minutes...she hoped.
She hopped out of the speeder, wearing just a tight black tank, sleek black pants and boots with 2" heels, and around her neck was the diamond created out of the ashes of her husband and son, glittering in the bright Corellian sun of the mid-afternoon. The redhead, with her new chopped style, took a deep breath, and made her way to the large wooden doors. She gave them a knock, and waited...arms crossed over the chest, and her eyes focused on the doorjamb.
If there was one thing Nylan hated, it was having his cherished 'veg-out' time disturbed. That celebrated activity, so sacred in its tranquility, consisted of nothing more than him being sprawled out on the couch (usually in his underwear, though thankfully that wasn't the case at the moment -- close, though) and watching the holonet. If Vidya had been around, she'd probably try to emasculate him for slacking off to such a degree. She had a fondness for his ill-tended gardens, though. So the house proper was, at least, devoid of any other humans at the moment. Shuffling towards the door in a pair of slippers, shorts and a tanktop, Nylan muttered a few curses before throwing it open. And Cecily would have the treat of watching literally all expression melt off his face.
Cecily looked up at him slowly, giving a slight smirk, and said, "Howdy, I'm looking for a rather good-looking X-Wing pilot, have you seen one around lately? I really need to talk to him."
That blank expression swiftly 'melted' further, his jaw seeming to droop a bit and eyes widening a bit. "Yeah, I have seen one," Nylan nodded sagely, leaving the door hanging ajar as he executed a crisp about face. "He's fetching himself a stiff drink."
"Tell him to get me one while he's at it. Cause we got A LOT to talk about." Cecily stepped into the house slowly and closed the door behind her, taking in the interior of the massive house.
"That's what he's afraid of!" The call echoed back down the foyer. Luckily enough, the kitchen was almost directly off the main hall. Despite that lack of distance, Nylan seemed to take quite a bit. He was inspecting bottles, actually. "Too weak," he set aside a half-full decanter of some bright green concoction. Lifting a bottle to the light, he read the label and nodded in acceptance. Swiftly grabbing two glasses, he plodded back into the hall, waving his hand. "Come on."
"Copy that, Rogue Leader." Cecily said half-jokingly as she followed him. "Sweet Corellian gods, I can't believe you live in a place like this...It doesn't suit you."
"I don't really live in it." His plodding carried him back across the hall and into the living room. The holonet screen blazed away in the corner, showing some random movie highlighted by a bouncer-with-a-heart-of-gold called Hyperlane House. Nylan sat on his cherished couch, placing the bottle and both glasses on the low table in front of it.
Cecily didn't sit next to him, but rather at a chair nearby, isolating the space for a reason. "Whatcha got there? And will it kill me?"
Already having poured his own glass (overpoured was more accurate), Nylan lifted the bottle up. The label on it was black, and amusingly enough was marked by what seemed to be a skull with a pair of X-Wings on either side. "Probably."
"Bring it on..." Cecily said, exhaling through pursed lips, "I need it after this trip I've been on."
"Copy that." Pouring her glass to the same height his was, Nylan sealed the bottle again and then placed it aside.
Cecily wasn't much of a drinker anymore. She could be, then again, the last time she drank the same drink as Nylan it evolved her into having hallucinations and sleeping with Ayden...not that that was a bad thing. Cecily lifted her own glass slowly, and raised it in the form of a toast, "So..."
"Don't 'so' me, damnit." Nylan's voice had gotten almost uncharacteristically snappy at that spot. "I need to be good and loopy sooner, rather than later." And he shotgunned the whole thing. Instantly, his face pinched up and he coughed a bit, shaking out the haze before settling the empty glass down.
Cecily shrugged, "I can play catch up." and did the same thing, slamming the glass down after her shot and giving a light cough and a wince, but not reacting as harshly as Nylan did. "I can guarantee I'll need another one of those to finish up, but first, I guess we can start with you." She looked down at her fingernails for a moment, which were perpetually chipped and dirty with engine grease, "How’s the political bullshit going?"
"Atrocious," he replied instantly. "Well. Not so atrocious. It's just different, y'know? Kind of like flying, except you don't really vape the other guy and the other man tends to react a lot more strongly if you throw crystallized coolant on his vehicle canopy."
"Are you implying that I did not act strongly enough when you did that to me? Because I was never exactly HAPPY if I recall..."
"No, but you were usually in a snubfighter several meters of hard vacuum away. Not at a podium several feet away."
“This is terribly true." Cecily nodded. "Well, as long as you're having fun I suppose..." She threw her arms behind her back and stretched, elongating her form and sliding into a slouch on the chair.
"Hardly," he muttered, likewise leaning back and smearing his palm across his forehead, blowing out a breath accompanied by a 'hoooooooooooo' sound. He glanced over at Cecily, an eyebrow rising before he glanced back at the bottle. "Well. Let's have it, Ecks."
Cecily rolled to face him in her chair, feeling the alcohol seeping into her system perhaps a little too quick since she was on an empty stomach. "Ayden asked me to marry him."
Well, that's just lovely. Nylan tried to muster some emotion to meet that, but found himself confronted only by a sickeningly banal amount of apathy. "Okay." He blinked, rubbing the back of his hand along his lips. "So what are you gonna do?"
"I'm going to marry him." Cecily replied, reaching for the bottle, "Want another?"
"Oh, I'm quite fine where I am." He made a wide, sweeping gesture to encompass not just the bottle but the whole room. "But you might need another."
"You have no idea..." She sighed, pouring herself another full glass, "But I've been thinking...a lot...about...things..." She lifted the glass up, and sipped it this time, rather than shooting it back.
"Which is, of course, why you're sitting on my couch, and not planning your wedding with Mister Fiwes." The venom in that voice was unmistakable.
"Please don't be bitter..." She whispered...sipping another drink and looking away.
"I believe you mistook bitterness for outright disdain."
"Please don't be disdainful."
"It's not my fault I don't like the man. He's inherently dislikable." Now he reached for the bottle. "Kind of like a bantha in labor."
"Tell me about it, we've been doing nothing but fight since I brought him back to Kuat..."
"I'm not telling you," he glanced at his glass, shook his head a bit and then just unscrewed the cap again and upended a strong finger of the stuff into his mouth, swiftly swallowing it. "You're telling me."
"That's right, I am..." Cecily set her glass down, then cracked her knuckles, and paused. Where to go from here....? "I...You know I had this whole thing thought out in my damn fighter on the way over here, but I can't for the life of me remember what I was going to say, and I don't even think it will make sense now if I did." She forced a laugh, "Something about if you and I would have fucked each other that night, that we probably would have killed either one or both of us in the process."
"Nicely put," he commented in a rather level and calm tone of voice. "But I assume you didn't travel several thousand light-years to put forth coital hypotheticals."
"No." Cecily lifted the drink again, "I wanted to...more or less...make sure that everything was okay, you know, between us after what happened."
"Tell you the truth," he lied. "I haven't thought about it that much."
"You're lying."
"Yeah, but it doesn't matter if I'm lying. It just matters that... Oh, fuck it." He went for the bottle again. "You don't need to hear this Sithspit."
"Probably not..." Cecily sighed, finishing her drink and handing him the empty glass, "Probably kriffing not."
"Always better not to," he promptly took her glass, set it down, and filled it again. This time around he bothered to fill his glass.
Cecily picked her glass up, and held it in both of her hands, staring down and the glass filled with liquid, and sighed, "But is it really? Holding things in isn't going to make it better is it? Hahahahaha, I don't know what the frack I'm talking about." She took another sip, "I came here, as a random sudden urge after I visited my husband and son's grave on Commenor...finally...I thought it would be best to go ahead, close everything out...and start fresh but, I guess it's not going to be as easy as I thought. At least not with the alcohol." She took another sip, "It could make things worse."
"Nah," Nylan shrugged; a simple gesture somehow turned into a profound philosophical gesture. "You came here expecting some kind of dramatic confrontation. There won't be one. To tell you the truth, I don't think I ever got over Maeve. I might not ever. If you came here expecting me to pitch a fit and raise my arms to the sky and declare my everlasting love, you're flying down the wrong trench."
"I definitely was NOT hoping for that, sorry to get your hopes up." She set the glass down, and brought her arms to her chest, crossing them again, NOW, this was getting to be a normal situation. "I came here to tell you that I do care about you, yes, maybe even love you...BUT if it is love Nylan, it's like that of a brother, not unconditional. I was hoping that you could relate to me on that, and maybe, just kriffing maybe, we could come to an understanding, but, I don't see that happening. I never meant to come between you and your little wartime affair with Maeve, ever."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa." His hands rocketed upwards, palms facing her in that universal defensive gesture. "That is not what I meant to imply, right there. I guess it was just kind of a roundabout, loopy way of kind of saying the same thing you did."
"Saying what? I've said a lot of things." Yeah, keep drinking Cecily.
"That... that thing." He paused, taking his drink and shooting it while making tight circles with an extended index finger. "About the affection being fraternal."
"So you agree, then?" Another sip.
"Yep."
"Good...I hoped you would." she sighed and finished her third round, somewhat amazing that she was still conscious, considering she had to get back to the city eventually and fly out of here. "Because as crazy as this sounds...I know you don't really have much family and...Considering how shitty both of our lives were prior to Rogue I thought...Nevermind, I'll just shut up now." She put her hand to her eyes and pitched the bridge of her nose.
"Excellent idea!" Nylan grinned and raised his glass. "Because if you were about to invite me to the wedding I'd comment that I'd probably murder the groom.
"You're welcome to come...just come armed."
"I'm serious."
"And then what would you do after that?"
"Well, I imagine I'd bask in my own glow for about an hour."
"And then what? Sweep the bride off of her feet only to have her punch your sassy lights out?"
"Actually, fleeing a crime scene was more paramount. You just forget I hate your fiance. Virulently."
"And that's perfectly normal for a brother. I'm sure Cedric would agree that the feeling is mutual."
"Really? Perhaps I'll talk with him. We can concoct a way to poison him before the service."
Cecily gave him 'the look'. No need to describe it, he knows exactly what that look meant.
Nylan gave her that grin. The grin that needed no description; the Corellian grin.
"Damn you."
The grin persisted.
"Can I ask you, nicely, NOT to poison Ayden?"
"You could, but it probably wouldn't do any good.'
"How about...I TELL you to NOT poison my husband to be, or I put a bolt through your skull?"
"Oh, good. I'd thought I'd lost the real Cecily."
She leaned over the arm of the chair, looking directly at him, "You have me personified, do you?"
"You've got me locked as well," he replied cheerfully.
She put her head on the cushioned arm, lazily, "And how is that?"
"You know," he snickered. "You know me."
"You seem awfully happy all of a sudden...keep drinking."
"As ordered." He paused, grasping at the bottle. "The order extends throughout the squadron, too."
"I should refrain; I have a patrol to fly soon..."
"You're going to patrol back to Kuat?" He grinned. "How novel."
"I was being hypothetical." She reached for the bottle in his hand, "But if you prefer to have me drunk and out of commission..."
"You know what?" He leaned in, pointedly shaking his head from side to side. "Maybe I do."
"Is that so?" She asked, not moving from her spot on the couch, smirking slightly.
"It just may be." He returned her expression with equal veracity
Cecily could feel her hands slip over Nylan's a bit as she took hold of the bottle, "This is going to be complicated." (Top Gun quotepwned.)
"Don't I know it," he replied whimsically, his eyes flashing over hers for a moment.
With that look, Cecily let go of the bottle, closed her eyes, and pulled her self back into the chair, sighing as she gave the second it took for the rest of her mind to catch up to her in the buzz.
Nylan leaned back. His hands found his knees as he shook his head, glancing at the ground for a moment. "This is going to get very complicated."
"I should go." Cecily whispered, with her hands on her forehead, gazing up at the ceiling slouched in the chair.
He agreed with her in every sense of the word, yet his lips managed to dance to a different tune. "Probably."
Cecily pushed to stand up, but fell back, swearing, "But it'll have to be in an hour or so."
Nylan nodded rapidly, bowing his head almost with each affirmative gesture. "Of course," he added sagely. "Of course."
"Of course." Cecily mimicked him, "Of course."
"Ding dong," he raised his hands and made one of those loony faces at her, wagging his head with his tongue stung out. "Ding dong."
Cecily just starting laughing, and threw a nearby pillow at him. "Knock it off."
Neatly parrying the pillow, he fielded it and then whapped it back at her midsection. "Make me."
"I would if I could stand up. And you know it. You know I could beat your ass any day of the week Antilles...On the ground OR in the sky.”
"The ground is one thing," he grinned, shaking his head. "But let's not go to the sky, Ecks. So unless you want to wrestle and end up in a compromising position again, you're just going to have to accept my downy dominance."
"Downy seems like an appropriate word, Sir, it looks like your gaining weight."
"I am most certainly not." He stood up swiftly, imperiously. "I still hold the same divine muscle structure I used to."
"Divine? DIVINE?! You're joking, right? Remember Antilles, as much as you pretend to block it out of your tiny mind. We've seen each other naked. I think I'd know a divine structure when I see one."
"I call foul!" Nylan almost absolutely roared that comment. "You haven't seen me naked where it counts!"
"...Yes I have."
"Yeah... And... Exactly."
"I win."
"Pfft." He waved his hand dismissively. "You haven't experienced divinity."
"Those who brag seldom have much to brag about. My friend."
"I'd prove it to you, but like you said, one of us would die."
"What about this...fraternal platonic thing we just agreed on, again?"
Shaking his head, he once more looked down. "Like you said. This is going to get complicated."
There was a pregnant silence for a moment, and Cecily rued. Obviously, Nylan hadn't quite gotten to the same realization as she had, and it almost felt like coming here was a bad idea. Or maybe they just needed to get all of this bad flirting out of their systems one last time...But she took to her feet, albeit wobbly, and walked over to stand in front of/over Nylan, then gazed down at him, quietly.
Looking up for a moment, Nylan smiled wryly as he shook his head. What was what, anymore? It was like a lance point at the back of his skull, at times. Nebulous, uncertain. Positively irritating at times. But, what was, was what was. "Heh. How about that, huh?"
"Yeah, how about that." She reached down and ruffled his hair before making her way past him, possibly back toward the door.
Saying nothing, Nylan passed his head over her with a bobbing nod as she went. "Probably a good idea."
"It is a good idea..."
"It really is."
"Really."
"Go on, damnit."
"Wait..." she paused, almost at the door.”I have something for you."
Please, oh please Force, don't be what I hope it is. "Alright."
"...That means you have to get up and actually get within range of me seeing you."
"...Do I have to? This couch is really comfortable."
"Please?"
"Alright." Hauling himself to his feet, he arched his back to stretch. Then, he plodded across the room.
Once he was within her sight, she reached into a pocket in her low-rise pants, and pulled out from it a small, shiny object. "Here." She said, tossing it in his direction. "I thought you should have one...Just incase you really want to fly again."
"Heh..." He caught it in a closed fist, bringing it around and then up to eye level to inspect. "Thanks, Sees."
"It's a key to one of the new models. It's yours when you want it..." She went to unlatch the door, "And maybe if you're lucky, I'll let you fly my wing."
"You just wish I would," he smirked as he settled the key down into his pocket.
"Well, you don't have an excuse now; because I have a new fighter with your name on it....all you need to do is come to get it."
"Yeah," snickering a bit his head turned to glance behind him towards the back door. "I don't think my tutor would like that too much."
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Post by Ang on Jul 5, 2007 11:16:09 GMT -5
"Oh?" Cecily raised a brow, "A 'tutor' you say?" Vidya was already standing in the backdoor frame, dirty from working in the garden and wearing one of Nylan's old shirts for the duty. Her arms were crossed, and she was genuinely scowling, "I thought you liked them older." Cecily offered Nylan a wink, and went back to the door, pulling it open.
His jaw fell ajar and he went goggle eyed, pointing an accusing finger at her with a smirk and a sputter. "You... you...”
"I...I...what, Nylan? Just come out and say it."
"Are insufferable."
Cecily stepped into the doorway, smiling, "And you love me for it, Antilles."
"So long as I don't have to live with it."
She leaned on the frame, "It's not going to be you living with me. So don't worry."
"Trust me, I'm not."
She winked again, "Didn't think so." And pushed herself off of the frame making her way back out onto the stoop, and praying to herself that she wasn't too drunk to drive, let alone make it down the stairs to GET to her speeder.
Pointing an imperious finger, he called after her. "Damnit!" Leaning forwards and clutching the doorframe, he poked his head out the door. "If you crash and die I am going to... going to... kill you!"
Cecily paused, "That...that..." She turned to face him, hands on her hips, "That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. You can't kill someone if they're already dead."
"Sure I can. I'll just kill you again."
"Just walk up to my corpse, and shoot it?"
"Exactly. Duhh."
"Kinkeeeee...." And she started back heading toward the waiting speeder slowly.
Bereft of words, the young pilot and politician just shook his head. "Insufferable!" He shouted after a moment's pause.
Cecily simply took a bow, leaving her arms wide open.
"Innnnn....suffff....errr....able!"
"Why are you trying to stall me?" She was only about a third of the way down the front walk.
"Why are you stalling yourself? Get on the damn vehicle, damnit!"
"I'm goooooing...."
"Then... go!"
"I think you want a hug."
"Hah!" His lips spread wide in the Cheshire look. "Now who's stalling?"
"Hurry up, I don't have all day!"
"I'm waiting on you."
"Why can't you come toward me?"
"Because I'm afraid of what will happen."
"And you think if I come back to you it'll be any different?"
"No. Which is why I hope you really aren't stalling."
"I'm sobering up, we'll say that. Besides what are you afraid of?"
"Pretty much everything. You?"
"Me? I'm not afraid of much anymore."
"Gods, but I am. Get out of here, Cecily."
She just laughed, and walked back toward him.
Nylan laughed, and shook his head. "I warned you. Or you warned me."
"Warned about what? Killing my already-dead corpse? Please..." She was back to the front steps.
"It had totally dominated my mind."
"Oh shut up." She said, and put her arms around him. There was no kiss, or rub, or anything that would suggest otherwise but the embrace and her head almost against his shoulder. The heels made her taller, but not quite that tall.
Nylan smiled a bit and reached a hand up to cup the back of her head, shaking his own with a wry smile. "As ordered."
"You better take care of yourself." She whispered in his ear, "I hear politics is a dangerous job these days. Don't make me have to come down here and liberate you or something."
"That will be the kriffin' day," he chuckled as he leaned back, fixing her with one of 'those' stares. "I think I'm up on you, in the 'who has saved who the most' tally."
Cecily stared right back, "I'll be more than happy to even the odds if necessary..." She cracked her knuckles behind his back.
"Don't bet on it," he smirked and shook his head at her. "I don't intend to put myself into such a poor position."
"I've seen you in a poor position before, kid, and I really do pray I never see it again." She winked and withdrew her arms from him...noticing a very cold stare from Vidya in the rear of the room.
"Whatever you say," Nylan scoffed, throwing his head back and doing his best to raise his voice to a suitable timbre for miming Cecily, "Miss 'The shields are down'."
"Best...use...of...parlance...ever." She smirked. "Holy fuck if Ayden heard this he'd kill us. Heh...Well, at least you, I think."
"It'd be so nice to have my murderous feelings for someone else reciprocated at least once."
"Oh I can fully attest to him hating you, if it makes you feel better."
"It does," Nylan confessed with a tight grin, bringing a hand up to rub his chin, "but he hasn't professed his want to murder me, has he?"
"Not yet, but I'm sure he will sooner or later...but I did tell him that I may have a job for you, and he seemed tolerant...a bit."
"A bit," that pair of words was said in perhaps the most platonic and level tone Nylan could muster. "Well, lovely. I'm sure Phobos only wanted me dead a bit when I was officially Rogue Leader."
"Well this involves training. You see, I have a few new hot shots who think they're better than anyone else. I think we need to give them a proper war game. If you know what I mean."
"You mean you want them to think I'm a program until you profess to them that the great Wedge Antilles' grandson just vaped them."
"Or worse..." A smirk spread into a shit-eating grin, "Remember when Maeve gave us that...false alarm in the middle of the night and then had Wraith basically de-ionize us?"
"Not precisely our finest hour."
"Exactly."
Nylan snickered a bit, his head shaking as he cradled his forehead in his palm. "That's cruel, you know."
"Cruel, but effective." She smiled, followed by a pregnant pause, and Cecily glanced back at her speeder and the setting sun, "I think it's time for me to go now..." She then gazed back at Nylan, this time ensuring eye contact.
His nod was affirmative and agreeable, and shallow -- a little sad, maybe? "I told you to get out of here a good couple of minutes ago," Nylan smiled. "Now shoo."
"I'm leaving!" She backed up, "Look at me go!" Her arms were in the air as she turned and walked straight on toward the speeder without looking back until she got to the vehicle, THEN she looked back, and her expression was just as sad...this was the end of an era for them, to their strange relationship which had been finalized as platonic. As she slid into the seat she gave Nylan one last look and said, without opening her mouth just by focusing with the Force as she had done before, Can you still hear me, kid?
That was kind of odd. It was reflected on the quizzical expression on his face. Almost like he'd been given some sort of phantom wedgie, it was that odd. However, those words in his head... He wasn't as shocked as he might have been, because it was not the first time. In the opening moments of that battle at Gala, when he'd been hit.. he could have sworn it was the Force that had yanked his ejection cord. I can, Ecks. Now shoo.
Bite me. She replied, and started the engine and fiddled with the radio, wondering if Corellia had anything good out here in the boondocks anyway. She offered him a wave, and released the break and reversed back out onto the main throughway.
He might have replied with something snarky, or even sentimental, but he didn't. He didn't think he could. There was a lot of stuff about Nylan Antilles that had yet to grow up. So he tipped his head, tapped his temple and just smiled. See you, space cowgirl.
You too. She smiled and drove off, speeding back toward Coronet City center. Vidya stepped forward a bit, and watched Cecily leave, wondering just exactly what had happened and what she possibly missed.
Slouching forwards, his forearm found the doorframe and he found his head pushed against it. He stayed like that, half standing, half leaning, for a good half a minute. Then, with a groaned and quite loud pronunciation of, "Force take me now!" he pulled the door shut, turned, stepped -- and froze.
Vidya blinked at Nylan's outburst, and crossed her arms over her chest. "You alright over there? You look like you need a cold shower." Ouch. So eloquent.
"If I could use anything cold, it would be a drink." He paused, shaking his head out and then steepling both his hands below his nose and blew out a breath of exasperation. "But I don't think that's the answer."
"Who was that?" Vidya peered out of the front window, but the speeder was already far out of sight. "You seemed pretty into her."
"My wingmate, from Rogue Squadron." He turned too, shaking his head a bit. "And also my executive officer, when I was Rogue Leader."
"So you two were close?"
"Oh yeah." There were shield generator euphemisms passing through his mind.
"...How close?" Vidya's nosiness was pressing.
He lifted a hand, and approximated about how close their bodies had gotten that one night by utilizing his thumb and forefinger. "This."
"What happened?"
"We woke up from the proverbial dream, as it were."
"So it...couldn't have worked out?"
"Not in a million kriffin' years..."
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Post by Ang on Jul 5, 2007 12:17:00 GMT -5
We'll never be platonic, will we, Nylan? Damnit...
We will never be able to view each other as 'just friends'. We will never be able to get over any feelings we've ever had for each other because we're hopeless individuals, but at least we've realized that we need to move on.
There's no way it would have worked out, not in a million years. So it's better that we leave things as is...I have more important things to focus on...I have a new squadron and a new life ahead of me, so it's time to leave everything behind and start over.
...Cause I, Cecily Lacoste, am getting married.
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