Post by Ang on Jun 17, 2007 19:28:50 GMT -5
Ang (6/12/2007 10:30:57 PM): Cecily was distraught. She looked like she had been crying, and felt that way, but still, she couldn't get the tears to work. She spent the better part of her day hiding in her office, which was more or less a partitioned off area of the hangar with her name on the door. It wasn't much, but she wasn't the type that commanded much. She started pulling items off of the walls...anything Rogue, Resistance, and namely, Ayden related...And it ripped her in half on the inside. Over. She sighed to herself. It's over, just deal with it. You kriffed this up...She didn't want to dwell on it, but it seemed more or less that she didn't have a choice, even when Cedric came in to give her a report of the latest sim scores from the current pilots and offer to get her some lunch she snapped at him,
Ang (6/12/2007 10:31:21 PM): leaving the younger sibling to roll his eyes, shake his head, and exit her personal space dare he even look at her funny...
angelous90 (6/12/2007 10:59:40 PM): -: Ayden’s entrance wouldn't be felt through the force. He purposefully cut himself off. Drowning his presence beneath the ever power veil. HE was as void in the force as the Vong. He sauntered in with the care of a man that knew he couldn't be stopped by the people around him. And none of them even tried. Perhaps it was the dark brooding manner in which he stalked. Or maybe it was the blue glow that hung in even darker blue eyes. Ayden was high as a kite it would seem. Some stim running through his system to help alleviate all those force-awful emotions that might plunge him into a horrid state of existence. Well dressed as always, he didn't hesitate to boot in the door, just enough to make it known that he wasn't quite willing to knock, and yet he wasn't quite ready to simply
angelous90 (6/12/2007 11:00:26 PM): knock the damned door off. As his eyes fell on Cecily, he might have visibly cringed. "Lt. Tempest..."
Ang (6/12/2007 11:01:42 PM): "Commander." She snapped at him in correction. "That would be commander, please." She barely looked at him, though not able to control her emotions as well as him, she was visibly shaken by his entrance, if not ready for a complete breakdown.
angelous90 (6/12/2007 11:05:21 PM): "Whatever gets you off, Commander." He drifted closer. His stomach twisting in a thousand knots. "I need to get back in your apartment. I left my keycard there, so i need you to let me in. " So he could get his shit, and then get the hell off this frakkin' Buffton, Lacoste infested rock. But of course, he really didn't need her to come with him to let him in. With the force he could have gotten in the house without so much as a single alarm going off. But she didn't need to know that.
Ang (6/12/2007 11:06:57 PM): Cecily's keys were on her desk, she simply glared at them and, using the Force, not the good side, mind you, they went hurling in Ayden's direction. Outside of the door, Cedric winced.... "You can open it yourself. Just make sure I get them back..."
angelous90 (6/12/2007 11:13:34 PM): -: Ayden caught them in the middle of her throw. Laughing. "No promises, Commander." He was a thief and a scoundrel after all, and he might as well take the damned time to be a thief and a scoundrel to the end. But he felt himself growing anger at her cold demeanor. At her inability to even look at him. To the fact she was pretending like he didn't exist. Because of the length of her hair, and the way those papers and datapads lay across her desk. To the fact there was a desk. The mellowing affect of his stims seemed to turn, and send his temperament for a wild spin.
Ang (6/12/2007 11:19:58 PM): Cedric walked a bit away from the office door, feeling almost sick to his stomach. Every time Cecily uses the Force now, it attacks him, causes him pain and makes him sick...but why? Why such the reaction? Was it the Darkside? Or was it that in his dreams he's seen what terrible things can happen...Cecily's lower jaw trembled, but a lump rose in her throat as she tried to speak. There were no drugs for her. Ever. Her only drug, her only method of 'high' so to speak, is pain, and she was almost not about to hesitate to give herself that fix again...Over those same old scars...
angelous90 (6/12/2007 11:44:02 PM): -: He stalked forward like a cat that had seen his prey. He stepped forward, and easily kicked the door closed. Shoulders hunched, his head hung low, like a wolf who knew the kill was imminent. "Oh poor ole Commander.... “He was far too close to her, his hand moving out slowly to run through brilliant red hair... "Someone loves you, and all you can do is push push push, until you've got no one left to push against... and then you go and cry your little eyes off..." He gasped, and his hand might have tightened in her hair, not painfully so, but enough that one would know his hand was there. He leant down by her side..."But wait! Not a tear to shed... too many had been let out for a man that’s been dead for years... one who must have been absolutely-frakkin-perfect... no fights there...."
Ang (6/12/2007 11:48:11 PM): Cecily was startled by his touch and backed into a corner before he tightened his grip. She didn't have a choice, now she had to look at him, look at his dilated, spiced up eyes knowing that back at her he wasn't seeing what the truth was. "Don't do this..." She whispered, trying to fight an incredible rage that was within her, "Please don't do this...This is my wrong, don't make it yours too." Cedric spun around when he saw the door shut, and raced back toward it, only finding it locked.
angelous90 (6/12/2007 11:55:32 PM): -: Ayden smiled, ear to ear. Without the drugs, it was a smile that might have helped make a room seem more cheerful. Or after that catty grin, might have brought a brawl. His hand loosened around her hair, but was still on her head. He leaned in, resting his chin on her thin shoulder. "Don't do what Cecily? Ask you why I wasn't good enough? Ask you -what- I could have done?" He could feel beyond the door, even with himself snuffed from the force. And that smile faded. In quick huttese, he said 'Occupied'. Before pressing his cheek to cheek with Cecily. "I loved you. I love you. I wanted to make you happy... I gave up my act twice... twice! Allowing several dozen people to know that I'm not Aaron Demie. I can't be Aaron Demie again. Those people know Ayden Tyior now... They won't let
angelous90 (6/12/2007 11:58:30 PM): there... my whole career. My whole existence. Everything I had before you! Just to be with you... and not good enough. Hell, not even close to the Godliness of Master Tempest!" And he was on his feet. Falling back against that Pseudo wall. "Corellian hells... I was even willing to frakking fly for a Buffton to help imprison all those little frakkin slaves of his..."
cecily_tempest (6/13/2007 8:56:00 PM): "Shut up!" She yelled at him, ripping herself away from him, "SHUT UP! You were not happy with the life I chose, and I couldn't live with that. You want to be a scoundrel and a swindler and a card shark, FINE! But I have chosen my path! I have chosen my side! Whether you or anyone else approves of it or not! I am the one that failed you when I left with Nylan, and I promised you I would atone for that but NO, I guess not! You, Ayden Tyior, were the first man to ever give me the time of day after my husband's death, you were the first one that opened me back up, and now you're the one who shuts it again. You are not perfect, no, but I loved you. It'll never be the same as who I lost 5 years ago, ever, but now I have decided not to love anyone anymore. Not you, not Tristan, not ANYONE.
cecily_tempest (6/13/2007 8:56:12 PM): That life is gone. GONE. All I know now is hate, Ayden. Go; get your things and LEAVE. LEAVE! You are NOTHING to me anymore. Blame me for ruining your life, go on!" She felt hotness in her eyes finally, a moist hotness, and she closed them, not used to the stinging, and before she could say anything else, she turned toward the wall, away from him, away from Cedric's persistence at the door, and waved him off. "I...am nothing." Cedric had heard that before, and it never lead to good things, "CECILY! DON'T!!" His voice...still muffled through the door...
angelous90 (6/13/2007 9:18:08 PM): -: Ayden slumped against the wall started sliding downwards till he was on his butt. Blue eyes were losing that spice induced glow, were filled with somber thoughts that made those eyes larger and seemingly like a puppies. He shut up alright, he couldn't find words. He couldn't really think of anything to say, or yell, or anything that might make this right. Because what was there he could say. And what he heard wasn't her words; it was teachings from ages ago. When all you know is hate, life isn't worth living. His stomach tightened into violent knots, and he couldn't find himself getting up. He couldn't find himself leaving her. She had given him reason time and time again, to live. To give up being a criminal. To love and be above the shadows. And when he thought he had lost that<C
angelous90 (6/13/2007 9:26:00 PM): he had drifted back to the shadows. He had tried to live that paper-pusher life. He had been willing to just -be- anything so long as he could be with her. Even if it wasn't himself. His throat tightened, and he wanted to just wallow in as much drinking or spices as he could afford. And finally she uttered something that he had heard himself say more than once. "Nothing but shadows..." A raspy whisper that seemed to share the tone in which she spoke. Tears burned hot at his eyes and he realized that if nothing else they had that in common. "We're nothing... without each other..."
cecily_tempest (6/13/2007 9:29:49 PM): Silence overcame the room for a moment, and Cedric paused at the door, wondering what had happened. Cecily just continued to stand there against the wall as her eyes lightly filled with tears. "But...we can't be happy."
angelous90 (6/13/2007 9:31:32 PM): It sounded just like what he said to himself. What he felt in his heart when he saw her walking off with Nylan, just dulled to the point of annoyance. "Why not...?"
cecily_tempest (6/13/2007 9:35:07 PM): "We're...too...different." She barely said, "When we were both committed to Rogue it was one thing; now...now look at us when we each have separate goals in mind."
angelous90 (6/13/2007 9:36:13 PM): "What separate goals Cecily?! I don't have goals! "
cecily_tempest (6/13/2007 9:40:16 PM): "That's just it! I want to stay here. Setting the Bufftons and our feelings on their organization aside, Ayden, I want to be here with the fleet and the squadron. I was offered this position and took it because I had never been offered anything this big in my life! Not even the gold medal in gymnastics during the Galactic Games! Why can't you see it this way?"
angelous90 (6/13/2007 9:44:51 PM): "I did! Force help me, I was frakkin' willing to put feelings and Bufftons and frakking everything, to support your desire to be part of this thing!" He was so frustrated. He was just lacking in any kind of answer for why this wasn't working. He had done everything he could to try and make it better. To try and be the man she wanted him to be.
cecily_tempest (6/13/2007 9:45:41 PM): "But you wouldn't have been happy." She sighed. "And I can't let that happen...You need to do what you want to do. Not what you should do to stay with me."
angelous90 (6/13/2007 9:52:47 PM): "How dare you tell me whether or not I would have been happy!" She was starting to get him to that point of anger again. His head thumped back, and he wished someone would just sneak up into the room and send two through his head. His heart beat weakened and he couldn't hold onto hiding his presence in the force. And at once the misery he was truly feeling crept out. "I want to be with you. I want to make you happy..." It was the only time he felt alive... like he had any worth, like he wasn't a shadow walking amongst the living.
cecily_tempest (6/13/2007 9:53:53 PM): "But what about you?"
angelous90 (6/13/2007 9:55:48 PM): "What about me Cecily? Being part of that fleet, gives you a sense of worth.... being with you, gives me that sense of worth... the biggest offering of my life..."
cecily_tempest (6/13/2007 9:56:56 PM): "I cannot be the only thing that gives you reason to live..."
angelous90 (6/13/2007 10:04:19 PM): -: He was silent. What more could he say. She had said it herself. She couldn't be the only reason to live. And she hadn't been. That’s what this mess started over. He had gone away for brief periods of time, more and more often. He hadn't ever told her exactly what he was doing... so she had every reason to believe he was nothing but a despot... a scoundrel and a villain. His eyes narrowed. She didn't want to be the center of that focus. "What else is there for me Cecily?" Was all he could ask... he had nothing. When he was with her, he felt he at least had a reason to try and make the galaxy a more tolerable place.
cecily_tempest (6/13/2007 10:08:19 PM): "What...what if I died, Ayden? Tomorrow? At Kashyyyk, or even now? Then what? What would have happened to you??"
angelous90 (6/13/2007 10:10:16 PM): -: Ayden’s face deadpanned. He hadn't ever been good at the what-ifs. The What-nows he was awesome at. What now? He seemed to sober up almost sharply after his thoughts turned to what he'd do. "You'd rather not know..."
cecily_tempest (6/13/2007 10:11:49 PM): "I lived after my husband died...I didn't want to, but I had to. I tried to kill myself over and over but nothing worked. Is that what you would do?"
angelous90 (6/13/2007 10:14:54 PM): -: Ayden’s eyes flashed brilliantly. He didn't have to say what he would do. "You know what I'd do." he had done it. After Anna, he had fallen hard, and it had only been Erin Demi, his divine and protecting Jedi Master and mother rolled into one, who had saved him from the same nightmare Cecily had fallen into. But after Erin was gone... it was just him... and the cold dread of not having a purpose, not having guidance... and from there... it was Arron Demie who cooed him into the shadows, where the underworld gave him 'meaning'
cecily_tempest (6/13/2007 10:16:17 PM): "Only you can create a fate worse than death..."
angelous90 (6/13/2007 10:17:51 PM): -: He almost laughed at that subtle stab at him... "Marry me."
cecily_tempest (6/13/2007 10:19:34 PM): Cecily huffed and looked back toward the wall, "Shut up."
angelous90 (6/13/2007 10:21:54 PM): -: He was standing faster than he thought he'd ever be able. And one would have thought he had used the force to speed up his movements just to get closer to her. "No... I love you Cecily. I want nothing more in my frakkin' life than to try and see you smile. Marry me." There was stupid grin plastered across his face... one that made it nearly impossible to tell whether or not he was serious.
cecily_tempest (6/13/2007 10:24:34 PM): Cedric was dumbstruck outside of the door. And Cecily looked up at Ayden with the widest-eyed, most confused look she had ever had in her life.
angelous90 (6/13/2007 10:26:53 PM): -: There was nothing but silence, and the sincerest look that a rogue like him could muster. Blond hair tipping into his eyes, even as he dared to take another step forward. The meeting had shifted from one extreme to the other, in a Coruscanti second. But for someone like Ayden, it was just well paced enough that its ludicrous nature was hard to take as anything but the truth of his feelings.
cecily_tempest (6/13/2007 10:27:58 PM): Cecily just shook her head, and closed her eyes.
angelous90 (6/13/2007 10:31:17 PM): -: If one was a betting man, they'd sure have to place odds against Ole Ayden. He might have even seemed to have lost his ever-loving Scoundrel hearted mind. And finally his face deadpanned as she was still silent... "No marriage then, just the engagement. No date... no pressure to see it through. Just the commitment."
cecily_tempest (6/13/2007 10:32:12 PM): "I don't know." Cecily whispered. Had he forgotten she'd been through this before?
angelous90 (6/13/2007 10:35:42 PM): "Then don't know. Just act." Part of his learning to use the force, was giving up on knowing, and giving into just following his heart. It hadn't taken much for that part on Ayden's behalf. But when trying to mix it with logical assessment... well others faired far better. He knew she had gone through it before. He himself had gone through it before, but that was a part of someone long since dead and buried. "I don't want to lose you Cecily... I don't want to be who I was before you saved me...”
Angela Nieves: Cecily looked up at Ayden, her green eyes were reddened and watery...Yet she reached out to him with her left hand, hoping to bring him closer to her so she could speak easier.
angelous90: -: A single step and he was within range of her hand. Fingers rising up to join her own. Blue eyes adoring imploring her to just say yes. His head leaned forward, wanting to just clear the air that had once been building up between them.
Angela Nieves: She gripped his hand in her own, but no smile crossed her lips, just another shake of her head, and then, "I don't think I can....I think I need more time. I'm sorry."
angelous90: -: And Ayden felt his heart sink, his hand lightly holding her own, he moved forward. Leaning forward, he placed a soft kiss 'pon her lips, before starting backwards. "Take all the time you need... I'm not going anywhere."
Angela Nieves: Cecily licked her lips after he had kissed her, and closed her eyes, uttering a soft sigh. "I..." She needed some time to think, time to get away on her own. Just herself and space...to make a mends of things with her past first before taking the next plunge. She pushed off of the wall and came up closer to Ayden as he backed away, placing a hand to his cheek softly, "I'll be back. I promise..."
angelous90: -: Ayden cast a sorrow filled glance her way. Memories of his past rushing up to grasp around his neck. Threatening to choke him in their misery, in the grief and guilt long since passed. And all he had to do was be with her for all those pains to mean nothing. "Then I'll be here..." He knew he should have said more, but what more could he have really said.
Angela Nieves: She walked slowly over to the door, and hit the code for the release, only to have Cedric plummet in from where he was leaning against it, listening. Cecily blinked as he 'oof'd' to the floor, and looked up in bewilderment.
angelous90: -: Ayden’s jaw nearly dropped as he looked down at Cedric. He had been so caught up in the moment that he had forgotten his connection to the force. Had forgotten the boy was on the other side, listening to a private moment between Cecily and himself. It was almost enough to tweak his already wild emotions toward anger... accept at the moment, it was just so pathetic that He couldn't do anything but shake his head. Ayden began for the door, offering the briefest of touches to Cecily's hand before continuing onward.
Angela Nieves: Cecily sighed a bit as Ayden passed, then glared down at her brother. "So..." He said, rolling over to his back and placing his hands behind his head. "Where are you going THIS time?" Cecily crossed her arms over her chest, almost wanting to kick the kriff out of Cedric laying there for eavesdropping, but she refrained, and stepped over him. "First stop is Haven, after that...who knows." -- "Gonna see Mam n' Dad?" -- "Yes. DON'T TELL THEM I'M COMING. This is something I need to do...for myself."
Ang (6/12/2007 10:31:21 PM): leaving the younger sibling to roll his eyes, shake his head, and exit her personal space dare he even look at her funny...
angelous90 (6/12/2007 10:59:40 PM): -: Ayden’s entrance wouldn't be felt through the force. He purposefully cut himself off. Drowning his presence beneath the ever power veil. HE was as void in the force as the Vong. He sauntered in with the care of a man that knew he couldn't be stopped by the people around him. And none of them even tried. Perhaps it was the dark brooding manner in which he stalked. Or maybe it was the blue glow that hung in even darker blue eyes. Ayden was high as a kite it would seem. Some stim running through his system to help alleviate all those force-awful emotions that might plunge him into a horrid state of existence. Well dressed as always, he didn't hesitate to boot in the door, just enough to make it known that he wasn't quite willing to knock, and yet he wasn't quite ready to simply
angelous90 (6/12/2007 11:00:26 PM): knock the damned door off. As his eyes fell on Cecily, he might have visibly cringed. "Lt. Tempest..."
Ang (6/12/2007 11:01:42 PM): "Commander." She snapped at him in correction. "That would be commander, please." She barely looked at him, though not able to control her emotions as well as him, she was visibly shaken by his entrance, if not ready for a complete breakdown.
angelous90 (6/12/2007 11:05:21 PM): "Whatever gets you off, Commander." He drifted closer. His stomach twisting in a thousand knots. "I need to get back in your apartment. I left my keycard there, so i need you to let me in. " So he could get his shit, and then get the hell off this frakkin' Buffton, Lacoste infested rock. But of course, he really didn't need her to come with him to let him in. With the force he could have gotten in the house without so much as a single alarm going off. But she didn't need to know that.
Ang (6/12/2007 11:06:57 PM): Cecily's keys were on her desk, she simply glared at them and, using the Force, not the good side, mind you, they went hurling in Ayden's direction. Outside of the door, Cedric winced.... "You can open it yourself. Just make sure I get them back..."
angelous90 (6/12/2007 11:13:34 PM): -: Ayden caught them in the middle of her throw. Laughing. "No promises, Commander." He was a thief and a scoundrel after all, and he might as well take the damned time to be a thief and a scoundrel to the end. But he felt himself growing anger at her cold demeanor. At her inability to even look at him. To the fact she was pretending like he didn't exist. Because of the length of her hair, and the way those papers and datapads lay across her desk. To the fact there was a desk. The mellowing affect of his stims seemed to turn, and send his temperament for a wild spin.
Ang (6/12/2007 11:19:58 PM): Cedric walked a bit away from the office door, feeling almost sick to his stomach. Every time Cecily uses the Force now, it attacks him, causes him pain and makes him sick...but why? Why such the reaction? Was it the Darkside? Or was it that in his dreams he's seen what terrible things can happen...Cecily's lower jaw trembled, but a lump rose in her throat as she tried to speak. There were no drugs for her. Ever. Her only drug, her only method of 'high' so to speak, is pain, and she was almost not about to hesitate to give herself that fix again...Over those same old scars...
angelous90 (6/12/2007 11:44:02 PM): -: He stalked forward like a cat that had seen his prey. He stepped forward, and easily kicked the door closed. Shoulders hunched, his head hung low, like a wolf who knew the kill was imminent. "Oh poor ole Commander.... “He was far too close to her, his hand moving out slowly to run through brilliant red hair... "Someone loves you, and all you can do is push push push, until you've got no one left to push against... and then you go and cry your little eyes off..." He gasped, and his hand might have tightened in her hair, not painfully so, but enough that one would know his hand was there. He leant down by her side..."But wait! Not a tear to shed... too many had been let out for a man that’s been dead for years... one who must have been absolutely-frakkin-perfect... no fights there...."
Ang (6/12/2007 11:48:11 PM): Cecily was startled by his touch and backed into a corner before he tightened his grip. She didn't have a choice, now she had to look at him, look at his dilated, spiced up eyes knowing that back at her he wasn't seeing what the truth was. "Don't do this..." She whispered, trying to fight an incredible rage that was within her, "Please don't do this...This is my wrong, don't make it yours too." Cedric spun around when he saw the door shut, and raced back toward it, only finding it locked.
angelous90 (6/12/2007 11:55:32 PM): -: Ayden smiled, ear to ear. Without the drugs, it was a smile that might have helped make a room seem more cheerful. Or after that catty grin, might have brought a brawl. His hand loosened around her hair, but was still on her head. He leaned in, resting his chin on her thin shoulder. "Don't do what Cecily? Ask you why I wasn't good enough? Ask you -what- I could have done?" He could feel beyond the door, even with himself snuffed from the force. And that smile faded. In quick huttese, he said 'Occupied'. Before pressing his cheek to cheek with Cecily. "I loved you. I love you. I wanted to make you happy... I gave up my act twice... twice! Allowing several dozen people to know that I'm not Aaron Demie. I can't be Aaron Demie again. Those people know Ayden Tyior now... They won't let
angelous90 (6/12/2007 11:58:30 PM): there... my whole career. My whole existence. Everything I had before you! Just to be with you... and not good enough. Hell, not even close to the Godliness of Master Tempest!" And he was on his feet. Falling back against that Pseudo wall. "Corellian hells... I was even willing to frakking fly for a Buffton to help imprison all those little frakkin slaves of his..."
cecily_tempest (6/13/2007 8:56:00 PM): "Shut up!" She yelled at him, ripping herself away from him, "SHUT UP! You were not happy with the life I chose, and I couldn't live with that. You want to be a scoundrel and a swindler and a card shark, FINE! But I have chosen my path! I have chosen my side! Whether you or anyone else approves of it or not! I am the one that failed you when I left with Nylan, and I promised you I would atone for that but NO, I guess not! You, Ayden Tyior, were the first man to ever give me the time of day after my husband's death, you were the first one that opened me back up, and now you're the one who shuts it again. You are not perfect, no, but I loved you. It'll never be the same as who I lost 5 years ago, ever, but now I have decided not to love anyone anymore. Not you, not Tristan, not ANYONE.
cecily_tempest (6/13/2007 8:56:12 PM): That life is gone. GONE. All I know now is hate, Ayden. Go; get your things and LEAVE. LEAVE! You are NOTHING to me anymore. Blame me for ruining your life, go on!" She felt hotness in her eyes finally, a moist hotness, and she closed them, not used to the stinging, and before she could say anything else, she turned toward the wall, away from him, away from Cedric's persistence at the door, and waved him off. "I...am nothing." Cedric had heard that before, and it never lead to good things, "CECILY! DON'T!!" His voice...still muffled through the door...
angelous90 (6/13/2007 9:18:08 PM): -: Ayden slumped against the wall started sliding downwards till he was on his butt. Blue eyes were losing that spice induced glow, were filled with somber thoughts that made those eyes larger and seemingly like a puppies. He shut up alright, he couldn't find words. He couldn't really think of anything to say, or yell, or anything that might make this right. Because what was there he could say. And what he heard wasn't her words; it was teachings from ages ago. When all you know is hate, life isn't worth living. His stomach tightened into violent knots, and he couldn't find himself getting up. He couldn't find himself leaving her. She had given him reason time and time again, to live. To give up being a criminal. To love and be above the shadows. And when he thought he had lost that<C
angelous90 (6/13/2007 9:26:00 PM): he had drifted back to the shadows. He had tried to live that paper-pusher life. He had been willing to just -be- anything so long as he could be with her. Even if it wasn't himself. His throat tightened, and he wanted to just wallow in as much drinking or spices as he could afford. And finally she uttered something that he had heard himself say more than once. "Nothing but shadows..." A raspy whisper that seemed to share the tone in which she spoke. Tears burned hot at his eyes and he realized that if nothing else they had that in common. "We're nothing... without each other..."
cecily_tempest (6/13/2007 9:29:49 PM): Silence overcame the room for a moment, and Cedric paused at the door, wondering what had happened. Cecily just continued to stand there against the wall as her eyes lightly filled with tears. "But...we can't be happy."
angelous90 (6/13/2007 9:31:32 PM): It sounded just like what he said to himself. What he felt in his heart when he saw her walking off with Nylan, just dulled to the point of annoyance. "Why not...?"
cecily_tempest (6/13/2007 9:35:07 PM): "We're...too...different." She barely said, "When we were both committed to Rogue it was one thing; now...now look at us when we each have separate goals in mind."
angelous90 (6/13/2007 9:36:13 PM): "What separate goals Cecily?! I don't have goals! "
cecily_tempest (6/13/2007 9:40:16 PM): "That's just it! I want to stay here. Setting the Bufftons and our feelings on their organization aside, Ayden, I want to be here with the fleet and the squadron. I was offered this position and took it because I had never been offered anything this big in my life! Not even the gold medal in gymnastics during the Galactic Games! Why can't you see it this way?"
angelous90 (6/13/2007 9:44:51 PM): "I did! Force help me, I was frakkin' willing to put feelings and Bufftons and frakking everything, to support your desire to be part of this thing!" He was so frustrated. He was just lacking in any kind of answer for why this wasn't working. He had done everything he could to try and make it better. To try and be the man she wanted him to be.
cecily_tempest (6/13/2007 9:45:41 PM): "But you wouldn't have been happy." She sighed. "And I can't let that happen...You need to do what you want to do. Not what you should do to stay with me."
angelous90 (6/13/2007 9:52:47 PM): "How dare you tell me whether or not I would have been happy!" She was starting to get him to that point of anger again. His head thumped back, and he wished someone would just sneak up into the room and send two through his head. His heart beat weakened and he couldn't hold onto hiding his presence in the force. And at once the misery he was truly feeling crept out. "I want to be with you. I want to make you happy..." It was the only time he felt alive... like he had any worth, like he wasn't a shadow walking amongst the living.
cecily_tempest (6/13/2007 9:53:53 PM): "But what about you?"
angelous90 (6/13/2007 9:55:48 PM): "What about me Cecily? Being part of that fleet, gives you a sense of worth.... being with you, gives me that sense of worth... the biggest offering of my life..."
cecily_tempest (6/13/2007 9:56:56 PM): "I cannot be the only thing that gives you reason to live..."
angelous90 (6/13/2007 10:04:19 PM): -: He was silent. What more could he say. She had said it herself. She couldn't be the only reason to live. And she hadn't been. That’s what this mess started over. He had gone away for brief periods of time, more and more often. He hadn't ever told her exactly what he was doing... so she had every reason to believe he was nothing but a despot... a scoundrel and a villain. His eyes narrowed. She didn't want to be the center of that focus. "What else is there for me Cecily?" Was all he could ask... he had nothing. When he was with her, he felt he at least had a reason to try and make the galaxy a more tolerable place.
cecily_tempest (6/13/2007 10:08:19 PM): "What...what if I died, Ayden? Tomorrow? At Kashyyyk, or even now? Then what? What would have happened to you??"
angelous90 (6/13/2007 10:10:16 PM): -: Ayden’s face deadpanned. He hadn't ever been good at the what-ifs. The What-nows he was awesome at. What now? He seemed to sober up almost sharply after his thoughts turned to what he'd do. "You'd rather not know..."
cecily_tempest (6/13/2007 10:11:49 PM): "I lived after my husband died...I didn't want to, but I had to. I tried to kill myself over and over but nothing worked. Is that what you would do?"
angelous90 (6/13/2007 10:14:54 PM): -: Ayden’s eyes flashed brilliantly. He didn't have to say what he would do. "You know what I'd do." he had done it. After Anna, he had fallen hard, and it had only been Erin Demi, his divine and protecting Jedi Master and mother rolled into one, who had saved him from the same nightmare Cecily had fallen into. But after Erin was gone... it was just him... and the cold dread of not having a purpose, not having guidance... and from there... it was Arron Demie who cooed him into the shadows, where the underworld gave him 'meaning'
cecily_tempest (6/13/2007 10:16:17 PM): "Only you can create a fate worse than death..."
angelous90 (6/13/2007 10:17:51 PM): -: He almost laughed at that subtle stab at him... "Marry me."
cecily_tempest (6/13/2007 10:19:34 PM): Cecily huffed and looked back toward the wall, "Shut up."
angelous90 (6/13/2007 10:21:54 PM): -: He was standing faster than he thought he'd ever be able. And one would have thought he had used the force to speed up his movements just to get closer to her. "No... I love you Cecily. I want nothing more in my frakkin' life than to try and see you smile. Marry me." There was stupid grin plastered across his face... one that made it nearly impossible to tell whether or not he was serious.
cecily_tempest (6/13/2007 10:24:34 PM): Cedric was dumbstruck outside of the door. And Cecily looked up at Ayden with the widest-eyed, most confused look she had ever had in her life.
angelous90 (6/13/2007 10:26:53 PM): -: There was nothing but silence, and the sincerest look that a rogue like him could muster. Blond hair tipping into his eyes, even as he dared to take another step forward. The meeting had shifted from one extreme to the other, in a Coruscanti second. But for someone like Ayden, it was just well paced enough that its ludicrous nature was hard to take as anything but the truth of his feelings.
cecily_tempest (6/13/2007 10:27:58 PM): Cecily just shook her head, and closed her eyes.
angelous90 (6/13/2007 10:31:17 PM): -: If one was a betting man, they'd sure have to place odds against Ole Ayden. He might have even seemed to have lost his ever-loving Scoundrel hearted mind. And finally his face deadpanned as she was still silent... "No marriage then, just the engagement. No date... no pressure to see it through. Just the commitment."
cecily_tempest (6/13/2007 10:32:12 PM): "I don't know." Cecily whispered. Had he forgotten she'd been through this before?
angelous90 (6/13/2007 10:35:42 PM): "Then don't know. Just act." Part of his learning to use the force, was giving up on knowing, and giving into just following his heart. It hadn't taken much for that part on Ayden's behalf. But when trying to mix it with logical assessment... well others faired far better. He knew she had gone through it before. He himself had gone through it before, but that was a part of someone long since dead and buried. "I don't want to lose you Cecily... I don't want to be who I was before you saved me...”
Angela Nieves: Cecily looked up at Ayden, her green eyes were reddened and watery...Yet she reached out to him with her left hand, hoping to bring him closer to her so she could speak easier.
angelous90: -: A single step and he was within range of her hand. Fingers rising up to join her own. Blue eyes adoring imploring her to just say yes. His head leaned forward, wanting to just clear the air that had once been building up between them.
Angela Nieves: She gripped his hand in her own, but no smile crossed her lips, just another shake of her head, and then, "I don't think I can....I think I need more time. I'm sorry."
angelous90: -: And Ayden felt his heart sink, his hand lightly holding her own, he moved forward. Leaning forward, he placed a soft kiss 'pon her lips, before starting backwards. "Take all the time you need... I'm not going anywhere."
Angela Nieves: Cecily licked her lips after he had kissed her, and closed her eyes, uttering a soft sigh. "I..." She needed some time to think, time to get away on her own. Just herself and space...to make a mends of things with her past first before taking the next plunge. She pushed off of the wall and came up closer to Ayden as he backed away, placing a hand to his cheek softly, "I'll be back. I promise..."
angelous90: -: Ayden cast a sorrow filled glance her way. Memories of his past rushing up to grasp around his neck. Threatening to choke him in their misery, in the grief and guilt long since passed. And all he had to do was be with her for all those pains to mean nothing. "Then I'll be here..." He knew he should have said more, but what more could he have really said.
Angela Nieves: She walked slowly over to the door, and hit the code for the release, only to have Cedric plummet in from where he was leaning against it, listening. Cecily blinked as he 'oof'd' to the floor, and looked up in bewilderment.
angelous90: -: Ayden’s jaw nearly dropped as he looked down at Cedric. He had been so caught up in the moment that he had forgotten his connection to the force. Had forgotten the boy was on the other side, listening to a private moment between Cecily and himself. It was almost enough to tweak his already wild emotions toward anger... accept at the moment, it was just so pathetic that He couldn't do anything but shake his head. Ayden began for the door, offering the briefest of touches to Cecily's hand before continuing onward.
Angela Nieves: Cecily sighed a bit as Ayden passed, then glared down at her brother. "So..." He said, rolling over to his back and placing his hands behind his head. "Where are you going THIS time?" Cecily crossed her arms over her chest, almost wanting to kick the kriff out of Cedric laying there for eavesdropping, but she refrained, and stepped over him. "First stop is Haven, after that...who knows." -- "Gonna see Mam n' Dad?" -- "Yes. DON'T TELL THEM I'M COMING. This is something I need to do...for myself."
